Reigning Champion
by Marari
Summary: Hermione's intellect has finally gotten the better of her, she's in her final year and dead bored. Then she finds something that piques her interest. Unbeknownst to her, its the start of a war. A prank war. But who will be the reigning champion? HG/SS AU
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer – I own nothing of the Harry Potter world, be it characters plot or rights. However the situations in this 'lil ole fic are mine.

Hermione was bored. It had got to the point in this particular double charms lesson that she had done the work required of her and she still had an hour to go. Ron and Harry were still struggling valiantly to conquer the correct swirl and point necessary when casting the spell, but Hermione couldn't be bothered to help them. With a sudden thought she raised her hand.

Professor Flitwick looked up from his desk in surprise. "You don't need help do you Miss Granger?" He asked in shock.

"Hardly." She smiled. "I've finished. If you were setting any homework this lesson, could I have it now and make a start? It would be preferable to sitting here bored out of my brain."

Flitwick disappeared behind a stack of books and emerged with an assignment. He sent it flying over to her and she caught it deftly with a flick of her wand, lowering it onto her desk.

"Thank you professor." She replied, and got started, much to the chagrin of those around her. She managed to get a tricky arithmacy question finished too, making sure Flitwick was unaware of what she was doing in case he just set her extra charms. She may be eager to learn, but she wasn't stupid.

"You could have helped us." Moaned Ron as they left the classroom when the bell eventually went. "We haven't even mastered the spell yet let alone started the assignment."

"Not my fault you rely on me Ron." She replied. "As for me I'm afraid I feel no guilt from your poorly disguised guilt trip, au contraire, I now have no homework to do tonight."

Harry gave her a look. "So what are you going to do instead? You always have homework."

Hermione was momentarily stumped. "I'll think of something." She rallied.

-x-

That evening Hermione was once again, bored. She'd thought about having that girly chat Lavender and Parvati were always bugging her about, but they were working. Ginny wouldn't stop to play cards, she was in detention for accidentally on purpose letting off a dung bomb Fred and George had sent her in the post, her excuse that she hadn't asked them for it falling on deaf Slytherin ears as Snape maliciously assigned her detention with Filch. Oh he'd set detention all right, just didn't like to actually spend time with the student in question unless he felt they really deserved it.

With a growl she checked her homework diary one more time, just in case she'd missed something that didn't have to be in for a while. There was nothing, she was completely and utterly up to date. What was the point in being so smart if it left her with nothing to do when all her friends took so long to do anything?

I need a hobby, a project of some kind to keep me from going stir crazy…

She gazed around the common room searching for inspiration. The knitting for S.P.E.W hadn't worked, so she disregarded that. Reading for pleasure? She did that enough anyway it wasn't anything new.

"I'm going for a walk." She told the boys, but they barely grunted in acknowledgement. Hermione swept out of the common room and down the steps in frustration. Ginny would have some kind of scheme to propose, but she wasn't around. Hermione walked around the castle for a while, greeting the various ghosts, students and paintings that spoke to her. After some time she found her steps taking her to the trophy room. With shrug she figured she'd never really taken a good look around it, and it would pass some time at least.

She'd been browsing for a while, snorting with indignation at Ron and Harry's service to the school awards _like they'd have got anywhere without me_ when she came across a smaller cabinet tucked away in one corner. The shields in this weren't as dignified or official looking as the others, and she bent closer to read them.

_Leonora Dirk and Adam Wills, for making the most use of the Room of Requirements more nefarious purposes._

_Nathan Pews, for tickling that pear first._

_Jason Peeves, most pranks pulled on a single member of Staff, a certain Argus Filch. _

'_The Marauders', for the creation of the Map of Mischief._

_Bartholomew Jacobs, most detentions in a year._

_Fred and George Weasley, most magnificent dropping out in Hogwarts history._

_Fred and George Weasley, most pranks pulled on fellow students._

The last was tarnished, so she couldn't read the name on it. It was the award for most creative pranks

Hermione straightened up. This was perfect. She could spend all her free time thinking up various pranks to wrest an award out of this cabinet. As her services to the school were overlooked, her actions against it were bound to be noticed. She bent to study the list again, wanting to choose an award to win. Detentions in a year were out; she was bound to get loads for her pranks as it was. Pranks against fellow pupils would be a hard one to beat, the Weasleys were notorious throughout their school career, and she was in her last. Her eyes stopped on the last award, the nameless one.

"That would be perfect, I reckon I'm smart enough to think up some really imaginative ones. Plus I don't know who it is so I don't feel guilty about stealing their title."

There was a cough from the doorway and Hermione span round. Snape was stood smirking at her. "Wandering around the school alone and muttering to yourself? Tsk Tsk Miss Granger, perhaps 20 points from Gryffindor would remind you to keep your internal monologue to yourself. Back to your common room, now."

Hermione left and headed back to her rooms. The award for most pranks pulled against a single member of staff was looking pretty attractive right now too. Hermione ignored a confused Harry and Ron and spent hours making a list of all the original pranks she could think of that would confuse, anger and frustrate Snape. None were dangerous to either Snape or anyone nearby, she had made sure of that, but all were bound to annoy him considerably._ After all, he's more than annoyed me in the past_. She mused to herself.


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning dawned bright and clear. Hermione got up particularly early and snuck down to the Room of Requirement. It opened up into a small room with a book on a table, next to a chair. Hermione sat down and flicked through the book. She wanted a certain spell that would wind Snape up today; she had potions with him that very morning. Smiling with glee she found the perfect charm and counter-charm, and cast them on herself using a handy mirror that popped up next to her. Glancing at the time she scurried off to the great Hall for breakfast. Harry and Ron were already there, listening to an angry Ginny give a blow-by-blow account of her detention with Filch. Hermione sat down next to her and patted her on the shoulder.

"Don't you worry Ginny my friend.

The time of injustice is at an end

The game has started, the trap is set,

On my success would you care to bet?"

They all stared at her puzzled. "Uh, Herms, you're talking in rhyme. Just so you know." Said Ron unhelpfully.

"I know it I know it I surely do,

I did it to myself, shall I do you too?"

Ron shook his head. "No thanks, we've potions first and I don't fancy having Snape hearing me talk in rhyme. Aren't you going to take it off?" He asked, seeing her evil grin.

"To annoy that git is my plan you see,

A bit of revenge for my friend Ginny."

Ginny smiled. "That's sweet Herms, but you don't need to. It'll only get you in trouble too."

"I'm sick and I'm tired of that old Slytherin,

I won't let his threats get under my skin."

Harry shrugged. "You are such a masochist. Coming?" They all stood and made their way to the potions dungeon. Hermione keeping her mouth firmly closed, she didn't want to ruin the surprise for anyone else. They trudged into the classroom and sat in their seats, waiting for Snape to arrive. When he did it was with his usual bad temper.

"Today we will be brewing a potion to stretch your fragile minds and see how they cope with a real challenge. No working in pairs, I want to see your individual efforts. The instructions are on the board, get started."

He sat behind his desk and watched them get prepared. He narrowed his eyes as he saw Neville set up next to Hermione, giving her a hopeful smile.

"Mr Longbottom, you will not be assisted by Miss Granger today, move to a different table."

Hermione glowered at Snape angrily. "Yes Miss Granger, have you something to say?"

"He'd improve if he learnt from someone who cared,

Your sarcastic comments just leave him scared.

Your style of teaching is unfair and crude,

You should hold your tongue, what you say is so rude."

The class held a collective breath as Snape drew himself up to his full height, and spoke in his softest, most threatening voice. "You dare to speak to me so disrespectfully?"

"I felt it was time for a few basic truths,

I do not think my response was uncouth."

Snape glowered at her. "Stop speaking in rhyme Miss Granger, it is you who is being rude." A snigger crossed the room. "Silence." Yelled Snape.

"A silent classroom is not much fun,

In oppressive quiet work is hard to get done,

Potions is fascinating, intriguing and cool

Such a shame the way it is taught at this school."

Snape glared at her. "Finite incantartum" He said, pointing his wand at Hermione who smirked at him. "Now that childish charm is inactive, come to the front and explain your behaviour." Hermione sauntered up to his table, drawing a few grins and gasps at her relaxed attitude. It only served to anger Snape more. "Well?" he snarled when she reached his desk. Hermione put her hands behind her back and began to recite.

"My talents are many, so I help who I can,

What can I say if you don't like my plan?

I simply feel if you acted more friendly,

Then less of your cauldrons would turn out all bendy."

The class laughed as they remembered an incident where Neville had somehow elongated his cauldron and then bent it in several places, leaving it flexing around like rubber. Who'd have expected her to manage rhymes even without a spell?

"40 points from Gryffindor." He spat, expecting her to back down. Instead she turned to face him and continued to rhyme.

"Those points you have taken I'll earn back in an hour,

You think I'm upset by your abuse of power?

You continue to sit there in your chair and glower,

I'll finish my potion now, as your face has gone sour."

She went to walk back to her seat, but he stood and grabbed her arm. No one in the class was laughing now. Hermione had pushed him further than anyone else they'd heard of. What would he do to her?

"You will not make that potion Granger." He said clearly, for the benefit of the whole class. "You will sit and write down how to make it, discussing what happens if you make it incorrectly, what the antidotes are if you ingest the potion in both its correct and incorrect forms." Hermione just smiled. He smiled back. "And you will write it all in rhyme."

Hermione frowned. "Ok fine very well, I'll finish it before the bell."

He raised an eyebrow. "A challenge is it? If you manage that I will refrain from taking any more points off you for your arrogance, though at the moment I warn you I am poised to take another 40."

He released her arm and she went back to her desk, pulling out some parchment and began scribbling away. Snape saw that the rest of the class was still watching them. "Get on it with it." He growled. Everyone did.

At the end of the lesson Snape dismissed everyone else and beckoned Hermione to him. She had been writing away right up to the bell, and he smirked at the thought of her losing 80 housepoints in one lesson. She handed her efforts over to him, and he motioned for her to stay put while he read it. With a sigh she sat on a desk opposite his. As he read his self-satisfied smirk gradually fell, and was replaced with an angry frown. He finished reading and threw it on his desk in disgust.

"You actually managed to write it all in rhyme." He said bluntly.

Hermione nodded happily. "Yup."

He thought for a moment. "I'm still taking off 20 points."

"What! Why? I wrote that whole essay in rhyming couplets, I deserve to be **given** points if anything."

"Some of the rhymes were half-hearted at best. It's poor as a poem."

He was more than annoyed when her angry face cleared and remained impassive. "Very well Sir, may I go now."

"A word of warning Miss Granger, I do not appreciate being criticised by a mere student on my teaching methods. They have worked on many I have taught, including yourself."

"Not really, I'm just a know-it-all. I'd have done well anyway."

Snape glowered at her. "You will answer me with a yes sir. Get out."

She turned her back on him and wandered slowly out of the classroom, leaving him fuming. Ron and Harry were waiting outside his room when she emerged, both looking concerned. "Hermione, what was with you in there? You could have lost us some serious points."

"Oh please, 60 points is nothing. Quit being spoil sports."

She took their arms in hers and dragged them up the corridor. "Well I guess it was bloody brilliant." Said Ron laughing as he remembered Snape's face.

Hermione grinned. "Oh you ain't seen nothing yet."


	3. Chapter 3

By the next time they had potions, word of her rebellion had spread and expectations were quietly running high, most of her classmates hoping for a repeat performance. She had simply rolled her eyes and smiled at everyone who had suggested it, and laughed when people spoke to her in rhyme, hoping to inspire her. When they all trooped into the classroom, it was immediately obvious to Snape that Hermione was the centre of attention. He frowned.

"Miss Granger, tell me you have nothing ridiculous planned for this lesson. You pathetically immature actions were detrimental enough last time."

"Yes sir."

"Is that a 'yes sir my actions were immature' or a 'yes sir I have got something planned'?" He sneered.

"Yes sir."

Snape glowered at her. "Miss Granger, this pitiable plea for attention will cease this minute. Am I clear?"

"Yes sir." She grinned.

He inwardly winced; he had walked into that one. He had a sudden thought. "Miss Granger, is this display of idiocy anything to do with my request last lesson that you answer me with a yes sir?"

"Yes sir." And she nodded to her head in agreement for emphasis.

He sighed and flicked his wand and that day's task appeared on the board. "You will once again be working independently." He listened to the audible groan with pleasure. "Silence. You have one hour." He settled back into his chair and watched them all work. His gaze fixed on Hermione, who was working diligently. Then to his satisfaction she saw him grasp Neville's hand to stop him putting some tulip petals in his cauldron.

"Miss Granger." He said. His voice carried clearly across the silent classroom.

"Yes sir?"

"I was under the impression that I had told you enough times not to help your fellow classmates."

"Yes sir."

"But, correct me if I am mistaken, did I not just see you stop Mr Longbottom from making another mistake?"

_Damn_. "Yes sir."

"And why would you go against my actions?"

"Yes sir."

"That is not an answer Miss Granger. Explain yourself."

"Yes sir."

Snape waited for a moment for her answer, knowing none was forthcoming. Hermione had to fight not to grin as he Snape got noticeably wound up in front of her. She squared her shoulders in defiance and waited for him to speak again.

"I am right in assuming you will answer me with only 'yes sir' even though I have established the reason for your behaviour as a overly literal interpretation of my orders?" He asked.

"Yes sir." She smiled.

"Right." He stood in thought for a moment. Then smiled. Hermione now felt a little nervous, a smiling Snape was a dangerous creature. She could almost feel the fear in the rest of the room also increase a notch. _DEFCON 3,_ she thought, and struggled not to giggle.

"You were disobeying a direct order."

She nodded. "Yes sir."

"And disobeying a direct order usually means punishment doesn't it."

"Yes sir." Hermione could see where this was going.

"And you agree with me that you are not above the rules at Hogwarts don't you."

"Yes sir."

"So you will also agree that you should be punished for your impertinence."

"Yes sir."

"And after all, this is the second lesson you have disrupted, so a severe punishment is in order."

"Yes sir."

"Good. I think 50 points from Gryffindor," he smiled at the groans from the rest of the room, "is a fair disciplinary action isn't it?"

"No sir."

Next to her Harry stuffed his hand in his mouth, Ron went bright red with suppressed laughter and on her other side Neville squeaked.

Snape was not so amused. "No sir?"

"Yes sir."

He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "So you think you should be punished but not with taking 50 points from Gryffindor."

Hermione remained silent.

"Very well. Detention. With me on Friday at eight. Do not be late."

"Yes sir." Said Hermione, and her voice shook with laughter, which Snape chose not to react to. He'd think up an appropriate punishment. He had all day after all. Hermione just chuckled to herself. It was only Tuesday. Which meant she had another lesson to annoy him, and he'd already given her detention so she had nothing to lose.

-x-

Thursday's potion lesson arrived, and Hermione was ready. Snape was also expecting something, so didn't speak to her.

"The task is on the board. Complete it. You have one hour."

The class groaned. It was a two-hour lesson, which meant Snape planned to have them write an essay in the second half. Hermione set herself up and patiently waited for an opportunity to begin today's plan.

Snape too was waiting. Granger's friends were casting her sidelong looks, and she was smiling back at them. When had that girl decided to become such a thorn in his side? Wasn't it bad enough she was such a show off. He glanced at the clock and saw the hour was coming to an end.

"You have five minutes, bottle your potions as they should be ready."

He curled his lip as Hermione calmly ladled her potion out, and he could see from the front of the class that it was exactly the right colour. To his relief he saw that none of her little friends had done so well. When even the bumbling Neville had stoppered his bottle he accioed the whole classes to his desk and changed the instruction on the board to an essay question.

"You have the rest of the lesson to finish the essay. And I will not," he said looking at Hermione "condone anything other than prose. No rhymes."

"Are you picking on me?" Asked Hermione in an angry tone.

Snape squashed his surprise. "I can if you wish Miss Granger."

"If that's the way you want to play it sir."

Hermione drew out her wand and stood in a duelling stance. Snape just stared at her in disbelief.

"Miss Granger put your wand away this instant."

"No way, you started on me, you dared to impugn my honour boy. En garde." All the muggle borns laughed at the sight of Hermione suggesting they use their wands for fencing. The wizards just laughed at her calling Snape 'boy.'

Snape sighed. "Miss Granger I am not 'starting on you'. Put your wand away."

Hermione straightened and twirled her wand in her hand. "Well if you're too chicken sir, I understand. Just don't try starting a fight with me again if you won't follow through."

The class was silent. You could have heard a pin drop. _Now I understand that cliché_ she thought absently.

Snape gave her a fierce look. "You are out of line Granger. 50 points from Gryffindor."

Hermione glared at him. "Fine, but never let it be said that Hermione 'the Harridan' Granger ever backs down from a fight."

Snape reigned in his temper and said as calmly as he could. "You now have 50minutes. Start the essay."

Hermione sat back down and Snape returned to his seat, once again fuming, ignoring the muffled giggles from various points around his classroom.

She stared at her parchment and another of her plans popped into her head. _Well now_, she thought, _two in one lesson can't hurt._ With a smirk she started to write.

_It was a dark and stormy night, and the potions master sat hunched over his bubbling (at 102degrees centigrade) cauldron full of that dastardly liquid, water, with 2grams of diluted rock salt. The lightening flashed, and he rose with a shout of triumph. "I've done it!" He screamed manically. "I crushed those darned daisy roots correctly,(chopping them horizontally before crushing them with a knife) and now the world will suffer the consequences! Mwahahahahahahaha."_

_That crazed wizard had discovered a dark secret, he had uncovered the way to ensure no infant wizard would ever enjoy the experience of nappy rash again…And verily, his potion was not only applicable to the bottoms of babies, but could be used to heal rashes on any part of the body, and any rash! But when the daisy roots are crushed incorrectly there is a terrible curse, the cursed wizards rash shall multiply in intensity and…_

She was actually quite enjoying herself.

When the bell went she skipped out of the classroom and took her friends compliments happily. They were making their way up the corridor when there was a roar of anger from behind them. Draco came running up to them.

"You'd better run Granger," he laughed, "I stayed behind to ask Snape something, and when he saw you essay he went mental!"

She grinned, and ran.

-x-

Hermione got through Fridays lessons by thinking about her detention with Snape that evening. She was getting everyone's commiserations for having to spend time with Snape on a Friday evening but she didn't mind all that much. It was fun baiting him. It was hardly about the award now; she was doing it for her own amusement. If she got the award out of it so much the better! She had the best idea yet for the detention, but she had to get Snape out of the classroom to do it. She glanced over the dinner table at her friends, and Ginny was the first to notice.

"Herms, what's going on in that brain of yours?"

Hermione made a tactical withdrawal. "Oh nothing, nothing."

Ron fell right into her trap. "No come on Hermione. You can't leave it there!"

"Well I was going to ask a favour, but its fine. Forget it."

Harry joined Ron in his folly. "Nah it's fine, you've more than earned a favour this past week in potions! What do you want?"

Hermione smiled innocently, glancing up at the teacher's table. "A diversion."

-x-

Hermione rapped on Snape's door at exactly eight pm, butterflies fluttering in her stomach at the thought of what she was about to do. She was banking on so much, her getaway being one of them so he got a chance to cool off before he found her. If Ron and Harry's diversion didn't keep him long enough, she'd be caught.

"Enter."

Hermione walked in to be met with an awful stench, and she hurriedly performed the bubblehead charm, expelling any noxious gases from it once she'd done so. Breathing normally she walked up to Snape's desk. The classroom was a total mess, several cauldrons were turned on their sides, and a nasty grey sludge covered the floor, furniture and walls.

"Does my detention have anything to do with the mess in here by any chance sir?"

"Yes Miss Granger." Said Snape stretching. Hermione found herself watching his muscles move under his shirt. _What the hell was that, I am so not ogling him. Ew and also, uber-ew. _"I may have asked a first year class to complete far too complex a potion for their competence level. The resulting mess has been here since about 3 o clock. I'm afraid it's set pretty firmly. Clean it, sans wand."

He held his hand out and she grudgingly handed over her wand to him. _Damn, he'd better leave this behind when he rushes off._ Snape conjured a bucket and mop for her and gestured to her to start. With a sigh she rolled up her sleeves and got started, the grey sludge had indeed set fast, and it was tiring work.

Snape sat and watched her, a smirk on his face. If this young witch was going to mess him around she had to suffer the consequences. His setting the first years such a complex potion had not been an accident. Strange how she hadn't called him on that, but she seemed to be getting on with her task meekly. He placed her wand on a prominent point on her desk so she would see it, hoping to illicit a reaction from her. She saw it as she turned, and glared. Tossing her hair over her shoulder she bent back down to her task. Snape was disappointed. Had she given in already? Surely she had more spirit than that? At that moment there was a crash from above them making them both jump. Hermione looked at him with wide eyes.

"Sir what."

They heard the sound of running feet coming towards them on their level and Ron burst through the door.

"What is going on Weasley?"

"We walked Hermione down here, you're the closest teacher sir. Oh God its Harry sir, please come quick!"

He stood and followed Ron back towards the door, wand in hand to see what had happened to the bloody chosen one. He glanced at Hermione who was looking very worried, poised to run after them. He smirked. "You will remain here and complete your detention Miss Granger."

Her face fell and he left the dungeon.

Once Snape was out of the room Hermione smirked that her acting had taken him in, she must be pretty good to fool a spy. Though to be fair, he had been in a hurry to get to an 'injured' student. She ran up to his desk and snatched her wand. She waved it so that the sludge disappeared and all the nooks and crannies of the classroom were gleaming and sanitary. The cauldrons were sparkling, as polished as they were the day they left the shops. Hermione hummed as she completed her secondary mission, to decorate Snape's classroom. When she was finished she looked around and laughed out loud, it was hideous. She went to the door and peered out around it, the coast was clear. She went back to his desk and wrote him a short note, before running up the corridor to the safety of the Gryffindor common room, where she collapsed into a sofa and burst into giggles next to a confused Neville and Ginny.

When Ron and Harry got back to the common room they were both grinning widely. "Well?" Asked Ron sitting down next to Hermione. "Did you do it?"

"Yep." Now I've just got to wait for his reaction tomorrow. Oh it's going to be priceless. How'd the diversion go?"

"Like a dream. We got Peeves to drop a cabinet on Harry."

Ginny and Hermione looked at Harry in alarm.

"No it was fine." He laughed. "We opened the door beforehand, so I was inside the cupboard space, trapped against the floor. It was very cramped, so I couldn't get to my wand. And Ron's wand was under it with me, he'd threatened Peeves with it, and Peeves had thrown it under the cabinet with me so he couldn't help me."

The girls sighed in relief. "How did Snape take it?" asked Hermione.

"Fine. I think he enjoyed it actually. Called Harry and me incompetent idiots a few times, and variations on that theme. What did you do in that classroom?"

Hermione chuckled. "I re-decorated his classroom to uh, a scheme more suited to Umbridge."

They looked at her in shock. It was Ginny who broke the silence. "Oh God Hermione, you are so **dead**!"


	4. Chapter 4

Snape stalked back to his classroom after having dealt with Ron and Harry_. How the hell is the boy wonder supposed to defeat the dark lord if he can't even avoid a poltergeist and a big cupboard? We're doomed._

He sighed and pushed away his cynical thoughts and managed not to cackle at the thought of Hermione slaving away at the sludge. He chuckled. That girl was certainly entertaining, and must have learnt her lesson by now. He'd have no more problems with her from now on. He'd just make ready to start making disparaging comments about her and her friends, _as she does look so much more animated when she's not in control._ He opened the door, plastering his best sneer on his face, but stopped dead in his tracks. He froze and looked at his classroom in horror.

It was very pink.

Instead of his dark and dingy dungeon, it was light and airy. The dark grey stone clad walls were a lighter shade of pale sandstone, and the flagstones beneath his feet were the same. The old stained oak benches and tables were a light reddish brown, and the seats had pink scatter cushions on them with gold tassels. He walked up to his desk and sat on it, staring around his room in disbelief. All traces of the grey sludge was gone, including the smell, which had been replaced with scents of roses and cat, like he was living with some sweet old lady and her pets. He wrinkled his nose in disgust. His chair was now a large pink armchair; his flickering torches whimsical lanterns encasing pink and white candles. Even his shelves full of dusty bottles and boxes filled with noxious ingredients were now hidden behind cupboard doors decorated with painted scenes of kittens and puppies frolicking with balls of wool and the like.

Snape took a deep, deep breath.

"GRANGER!"

"Close but no cigar."

Snape whirled around to find Dumbledore wandering into his room, inspecting the new décor as closely as he had done. Snape watched with impatience as Dumbledore made his way slowly towards him, that damned twinkle back in his eye.

"Not exactly your usual style Severus."

Snape snarled. "This is the doing of that Granger girl. She got her two sidekicks to distract me, and did this when she was supposed to be cleaning my room without magic during detention."

Dumbledore ignored his anger. "Well she was certainly busy."

"You can't let her get away with this Albus, she disobeyed me in using her wand which I had confiscated, and she was in no way instructed to redecorate."

"She did a good job though, that window in particular is very impressive."

"How impressive the magic is is immaterial Alb…"

Snape looked at the window that the headmaster had indicated and his argument faded away into nothing. The window was a large one, and was the reason for the room being bathed in light. It was up against the same wall as the door, so he hadn't noticed it when he'd come in. Although bordered with hideous pink curtains the view through it was astounding in its complexity. She had managed to charm a cottage garden on a sunny summers evening, although it was winter at Hogwarts. There were butterflies and Snape noticed for the first time a faint sound of birdsong he knew would drive him mad after a while. The plants were waving around in a light breeze. Snape found himself experiencing a moment of respect and admiration for the young woman's skills.

Craps sake, she a silly little schoolgirl not a young woman, and she's going to pay for this, no matter how impressive her skills.

Suddenly a man jumped in front of the window. Snape glowered, it was him. Albus chuckled. "That's some imagination she's got there."

Snape knew he was being goaded, that girl hadn't thought it up herself and Albus knew it. In the window could be seen Snape in the outfit Neville had imagined him in during the infamous third year lesson with a boggart some time ago. His alter ego was making kissy kissy noises, coaxing some cats into the frame and feeding them.

"I suppose you think this is amusing Albus?"

"Of course not my boy, very wrong of her. Was there any explanation left?"

Snape looked at his desk, and sure enough there was a note in her handwriting. Snape sighed, that old man had some really creepy sixth sense when he wanted to.

_Professor Snape,_

_When you left the detention early you left my wand in clear view so I figured that was permission to use it. You will notice you room is now cleaner that it has ever been during my tenure here at Hogwarts. Weirdly, my wand seems to have malfunctioned. Last time it was confiscated Umbridge nicked it during a DADA lesson when I left it out on my desk when she said wands away. Must have influenced it somehow. Nice change though eh?_

_Your favourite annoying know-it-all, _

_Hermione. _

Snape crumpled the note up into a tight ball in anger. That little witch.

"Dumbledore accioed it silently and read it for himself, chuckling by the end of it. "Your _favourite_ annoying know-it-all is it Severus? I didn't know you favoured Hermione."

Snape cleared his mind of angry thoughts and replied calmly to the man who was after all, his boss.

"I do not favour that young woman in anyway." _Damn I said woman again, I bet he picked up on it_. "And she will pay for her behaviour. I will not punish her outright, I'll let her sweat for a bit I think, get her paranoid. Usual punishment does not seem to make an effect."

"Very well my boy, after all, the best way to fight fire I hear, is with fire."

"So they do." He mused, with an evil glint in his eye. "But of course, those days are long behind me Headmaster."

"Oh, indubitably. Sherbet lemon?"

-x-

The next day at breakfast the Gryffindors in the know were watching the doors to the Hall with eager eyes. Ron had let slip something about the latest prank, so many were waiting with glee to see the potion masters reaction. Hermione, seemingly oblivious to it all, was quietly eating her toast. When Snape did arrive, an expectant hush descended the Gryffindor table as he strode over to where Hermione was sat. Inwardly gloating, Hermione gave no indication she had noticed him standing behind her, and reached for a croissant, only acknowledging his presence as he grabbed her arm to prevent her from getting the pastry treat.

"Miss Granger, may I have a word with you."

"Certainly professor." Said Hermione politely. "You may have more than one if you like."

Snape yanked her to her feet by her robes and walked out of the hall, Hermione following behind at her own pace. Once out of sight of doors to the main hall, Snape stopped and waited for her to catch up.

"You'll be glad to know I've undone your wands 'malfunction' from yesterday, my classroom will be back to normal before lessons start."

Hermione was a bit disappointed; the image of Snape trying to teach in such frilly surroundings as she'd created had lulled her to sleep last night.

"That's great news professor." She replied in as fake a sweet voice as she could manage.

"I'd be interested in reading the research on it of course."

"Sir?"

"Well as far as I know there has been no cases of a wand being affected by its surroundings when its owner is put under stress. I could say that you'd made it up and I'd have to punish you, but I'm sure Hogwarts brightest star would never lie to teacher on an academic matter."

Hermione shifted her weight. "I was…"

"In fact," continued Snape smoothly, taking a step closer to her, "I can hardly imagine a young lady such as yourself would dare to cross any of her professors in such a subordinate manner."

"Well no I…"

"One could even say," He interrupted again, "that to prank a superior would be asking for trouble."

"I've never really been that scared of trouble." Said Hermione glibly. "I've bested some real nasties in my time at Hogwarts." Then her head bumped a stone and she realised she'd been backing away from him into the wall. He smirked.

"And yet you seem intimidated by me." He said quietly. "That may be your most intelligent decision to date. I will warn you now Miss Granger, if it is a prank war you are proposing, and you act against me again, be assured that I will reciprocate in kind."

Hermione reminded herself to breathe as she looked up into his eyes. "Bring it."

Severus opened his mouth to speak again, but the bell cut short anything he had to say as it rang. As the footfalls of hundreds of students began to sound as people left breakfast, he stepped away from Hermione, and giving her one last look before sweeping himself off into dungeons. Hermione sucked in a deep breath and willed her face not to flush with heat from the intense conversation.

She turned as Ginny walked over. "Hi gin."

"What was all that about?" Ginny asked. "Looked a bit close for comfort to me."

Hermione smiled. "Oh Gin, now it's all out war!"


	5. Chapter 5

Typically, it was several days before her next Potions lesson, so she was forced to bide her time. Whenever she'd seen Snape in the corridors, he'd given her an appraising look, as if measuring her up somehow. She hadn't let it go, and had started giving him the old raised eyebrow. She'd expected him to scowl at being caught, instead he had just smiled. Not a happy smile, but a calculated, amused one. And yes, she had been giving it quite a lot of thought. It was annoying, how he could get under her skin without even trying.

Harry and Ron had been fun the last few days as well. They'd been completely supportive of her, coming up with their own ideas and they'd spent hours laughing at what they'd come up with. But Hermione had played her cards close to her chest, not wanting Snape to catch wind of her plans, and had told them nothing. So, they'd acted like teenage boys, and gotten sulky.

Their moods improved slightly when potions class came up on the timetable though.

Snape was waiting for them as they entered the classroom.

"Be seated." He snapped.

"Good idea sir!" Said Hermione enthusiastically. She sat down and faced front with a huge smile on her face. Snape cocked an eyebrow at her and she gave him a big thumbs up.

Ignoring her for the moment, Snape began the lesson.

"Instructions are on the board, it's a basic enlargement potion with a twist. You have until the end of a lesson to determine how it differs and write half a side of parchment on how, and which ingredient makes it change. Begin."

Hermione stood up and clapped. "Stirring stuff sir, wonderful. Very inspirational. Bravo." She then twisted round and went to the store cupboard with everyone else.

-x-

Severus watched calmly as the class started to smile. So, she was bringing it back into his classroom. Disrupting lessons again. Very well. He began to walk around the room, watching to ensure no students crushed the beetle eyes incorrectly.

"Good one sir!"

He turned to Hermione.

"Good what Miss Granger?"

"It's the way you manage to flourish your robes sir, gets me every time! It must have taken so much time to get it just right! I applaud your efforts!"

And indeed to his disbelief she clapped her hands again like an excited schoolgirl. _She is just a schoolgirl._ He reminded himself quickly.

"Back to your seat." He growled.

"You betcha sir! You're so authoritative!"

She gave him another sunshine smile and walked away, curls bobbing as she skipped to her seat. Severus resisted the urge to roll his eyes and smile. Instead, he got an idea.

-x-

Hermione continued to cheer everything Snape did all lesson. If he picked something up, she'd wax lyrical about masterful his dexterity was. If he corrected someone's work with a hissed insult she would loudly acknowledge his impressive vocabulary. When he barely glanced at her own work on his rounds, she praised him for not wasting his time on her and helping the more deserving instead.

She hadn't noticed the glint in his eye.

The end of the lesson did eventually come round. Hermione was running out of things to commend Snape for, and her voice was getting hoarse. But she was feeling good about herself. It's difficult to act so enthusiastic without it rubbing off on your actual mood.

"Accio vials." Said Snape.

Hermione was thrust forward with a crack as a glass vial hit her in the back of the head so hard it cracked. The enlarging potion exploded out of it all over her hair. There was a moment of silence, where the only sound was the shards of glass tinkling on the stone slabs beneath her feet. Then there were shouts of alarm and amusement as her hair began to grow. And grow. Before she even knew what was happening, Hermione fell over backwards under the weight of an enormous afro. Her curls had turned back into the frizz of her earlier years, but much, much worse.

Snape didn't twitch a muscle. He put the vials that had reached his desk into a box for later and sat down, pulling out some parchments for marking.

"Class dismissed." He said quietly.

Everyone headed for the door. Ron and Harry tried to help Hermione up, but her hair was too heavy. She couldn't even lift her head. Ron raised his wand to perform a shrinking spell but Hermione put out her hands to stop him.

"It's a potion Ron; you shouldn't try to undo it with a charm. I need a shrinking potion of some kind."

"I thought I said class dismissed Mr Potter, Mr Weasley."

The boys gave her apologetic glances, but left all the same.

Hermione waited for a couple of moments for Snape to come over. But he didn't.

"Professor Snape?" She asked.

"Is there some reason you're still in my classroom Miss Granger?" He replied, not looking up.

"I can't leave until my hair is shrunk sir. I…" She paused.

"Do you need my assistance in some way Miss Granger?" Asked Snape silkily.

"I need a shrinking potion sir, yes."

Snape stood and walked over to where she was still lying flat on her back on the floor. He looked down at her. She smiled up at him, still in a light-hearted mood. He could fix this in a moment. She didn't begrudge him it, figuring he had done it on purpose.

"For what? I see no difference."

Hermione caught her breath. _The bastard. _That wasn't playing fair. Of all the things he could have said…

-x-

Severus watched the emotions flicker across her face. She had been smiling up at him, but with a few words he had conjured up anger, hurt and was that…betrayal? Interesting. He watched her master herself and compose a response.

"Then your powers of observation are slipping sir. If I had always had hair like this, I would not have fitted through your dungeon door on the way into the room. Perhaps you should consider giving up the spy business. Such failure in other situations might get you killed."

Snape clenched his jaw.

"Enough." He snarled. "You overstep your boundaries girl, such matters are not for you to discuss."

"Fine." She snapped. "Just stop being you for a minute and help me."

Severus flicked his wrist and the correct potion appeared in his hand. He uncorked it and spilled it over the massive fur ball that her hair had become. A moment later, and her hair had returned to its usual length. But it was covered in pale green goo. Without thinking he reached down and took her by the arm, helping her to her feet. She didn't stop to thank him, but turned quickly on her heel and stalked out of the room. Severus watched her go, concerned that he felt almost…bad about his behaviour. It wasn't until he was alone later that evening that he remembered the teeth incident, and grimaced. No wonder she'd been so upset.

-x-

"You're not acting yourself." Said Ron suddenly.

"What do you mean?" She'd replied, honestly confused. She'd just been sat writing a few ideas on some parchment while the boys played wizarding chess.

"All you do is sit and think about these pranks. It's not even as if it's something we're doing together, it's just you and Snape."

"Don't be stupid, you guys have been helping me out. That wardrobe diversion for example."

Harry and Ron exchanged looks.

"That was a couple of weeks ago Herms, we haven't hung out for ages without you going off on one about some prank idea. And it's not like you're enjoying it either, he really got to you today."

Hermione winced. "A momentary glitch. He'll regret it don't worry."

"But it's hurting Gryffindor."

"He didn't even take off any points today." She argued back.

"He didn't?" Harry looked surprised. "How did you get out of it?"

"I…" Hermione stopped. "I don't know. He just didn't."

"He must have something worse planned then."

"Maybe. Maybe he was just playing along today."

The boys burst out laughing. "Snape? Playing along? No way. He must've just been so angry he forgot. He's such a bastard, he'll probably take 50 points tomorrow for breathing too loud or something."

Hermione kept her peace as the boys carried on with their game, still chuckling. Was it possible that Snape could be playing her?


	6. Chapter 6

Although Snape had been cruel in their last encounter, Hermione couldn't stay mad for long. She was asking for it every time she wound him up after all. So instead of playing the revenge game, she stuck to her original prank schedule. It would do no good for him to know he had gotten to her at all. She tried taking Ron and Harry's advice to think about something other than her burgeoning prank war, she really did. But once her homework was done, or she was sat in bed, her mind would turn back to her potions master. It was especially bad at dinner, Harry and Ron would be too busy eating to talk, so her thoughts became focused on the man sitting up at\the teachers table.

Sometimes he was watching her back.

-x-

Next potions lesson Hermione walked in with her head held high. She'd got another excellent plan, and was sure she could implement it successfully. Most of her classmates had been briefed beforehand, and would follow her lead.

-x-

Snape watched Hermione come in, her head held high, with a fierce gleam in her eyes. Clearly then she had mastered her emotions and was putting his insults of last lesson behind her. He caught himself being impressed with her for that, and scowled. She was being a pain in his ass, and he was admiring her for it. He would have to end this soon, but how? Perhaps she would give him an opening today.

"Potion is on the board. Your attempts will be used in a second year herbology class next week, so no mistakes will be tolerated."

Hermione raised her hand. Severus took a mental breath.

"Yes Miss Granger."

"I just thought we ought to put that to the vote sir."

"Put what to the vote?"

"Whether or not our potions should be used by the second years. This is a democracy is it not?"

"In my classroom, it is not."

"Well perhaps we should take a vote on that first then." Hermione stood up and faced the class. "All in favour of studying potions in a democracy?"

A majority raised their hands. Hermione shot Snape a triumphant smile.

"In that case, who is in favour of our potions being used in herbology next week?"

The majority this time went in Snape's favour, the Slytherins voting for. Snape smiled. Despite her attempts, he had beaten her at her own game.

Hermione nodded her head. "Very well, this is a democracy. One last matter to be put to the vote then."

She turned to him, her eyes wide with innocence. "Who is in favour of Professor Snape leaving Neville alone from now on, so I can help him in peace?"

Again, she gained the majority, and still watching him, sat down next to Neville, who had gone beet red.

Snape smiled, and inclined his head to her slightly. She had given him the idea he wanted.

"Perhaps you're right Miss Granger, and the dungeon environment is in need of a constitutional change." He watched with satisfaction as her eyes narrowed as she tried to figure out what he was up to. He moved from his place next to the board to his desk, and sat down. Aware of everyone's gaze on him, he looked up quizzically. "Yes?" No one answered, so he bent his gaze back to an article on Salmon scales in headache potions he'd been meaning to read later, when he had a free period. Hermione had given him this hour free, and she was also going to give him a lot more free time in the coming week…

-x-

No one congratulated Hermione as they walked out of potions. The situation was still too un-nerving. Snape had been, frightening. As the lesson had drawn to an end, he'd called a vote to decide whether he should give them all homework or not. When, thinking he was joking, they'd voted against, he'd just shrugged and agreed. Hermione's mind was working furiously. What had just happened? There must be a catch somewhere, but she couldn't see it. How could allowing himself to be beaten by her possibly benefit him? Because it must do somehow, he was too Slytherin for it not to.

She became increasingly concerned as it became apparent that his odd behaviour was not limited to their lesson. The corridors were soon buzzing with the news that Snape was acting very strangely. A third year class had even been dismissed when someone cheekily asked for them to vote on whether they should be there or not. She watched the other professors, hoping that their reaction might tell her something, but they were acting as if nothing was amiss. Except for Dumbledore, whose eyes were twinkling a mite more than usual.

So when a first year told her she was being summoned to Snape's classroom, she expected something bad.

-x-

Snape was feeling very pleased with himself. He'd checked with the headmaster to make sure he wasn't breaking any school rules, and had checked some law books to ensure he was ok there as well. He'd piled up his two first year classes homework and last lessons potions on a desk in his classroom and was waiting for Hermione to arrive.

There was a tentative knock on the door.

"Enter."

Hermione walked in, her eyes fixing immediately on the very obvious pile of work he'd put out.

"You asked for me sir?"

"Indeed." Said Snape. "Having decided to try implementing your democracy idea for a few weeks, I found myself in something of a quandary."

Hermione blinked. "A few weeks?" She said weakly.

"That's right. As I was saying, one of my first year classes really got into the idea. Embraced it you might say. Why we wasted half the lesson on voting for or against various things. One child, a Mr. Ghale I believe, suggested they vote on whether or not I should continue teaching them."

He watched as Hermione's eyes widened in surprise, and she started chewing on her lip nervously.

"Well the vote was fairly unanimous that they should have a new teacher. Unfortunately there are no other professors at Hogwarts with the time or ability to teach them in my stead."

He leaned forward as he went in for the kill.

"So for the next fortnight Miss Granger, you will be teaching first year potions. On top of your other duties. You will teach them, evaluate their efforts, set the homework and mark it. Any of your own classes that you miss because you're down here will have to be caught up with on your own time."

Hermione looked as if she was about to talk, but she said nothing.

"Speechless?" Snape arched an eyebrow. "I suppose the honour I am bestowing on you is a bit of a shock. Perhaps you would care to sit?" He drew out a chair for her, and pushed her gently into it.

"Dumbledore?" Said Hermione.

"Oh he is far too busy. Being headmaster and whatnot. But don't fret, I've already checked this with him, and he's also confident you'll do a great job. In fact…"

Snape leant forward over her shoulder, taking a piece of parchment off the top of the pile.

-x-

Hermione sat rigid in her seat as Snape leant over her, reaching forward to the first mountain of essays. He took one off the top and placed it on a clear spot in front of her.

"…You should probably get started right now." She stopped breathing, his voice had dropped and he was practically whispering into her ear. "There is a bit of a backlog."

He moved away from her, and she could breathe again. She watched him walk away, through a door she figured led to a private study or something. She looked down at the essay in front of her and groaned. Even the title was misspelt.

-x-

Two weeks passed very, very slowly for Hermione. True to his word, Snape took no part in educating the first years. She couldn't do a shoddy job, it was their first term at Hogwarts and they had to cover the basics or they'd be screwed later on, so she put a lot of effort into it. She was exhausted. Her friends were sympathetic, but she sensed that they thought she'd got what she deserved. Which rankled. Besides, now that Snape had got what he wanted, he had reverted to his normal teaching methods, so nothing she'd done was affecting them anymore.

On the bright side, she now knew that teaching was not the career for her.

Her last prank having backfired so much, she decided her next one would be smaller in scope. A simple, classic prank. For which she needed no accomplices.

Having spent so much time in the dungeon, watching Snape coming and going during his new free time, she had deduced the door in the corner of the classroom was one of the entrances to his private suite. It was the one he used in the morning anyway. She'd had to pull an all-nighter one time to finish all her marking, and that was the door he'd come through at 8am, his hair still damp from the shower.

If she was to balance some sort of bucket over that door, he wouldn't have time to wash it off before first lesson. Heh heh heh…

-x-

Severus was in a rush again. It took him a long time to get to sleep at night, as it was when he was lying in bed in the dark that his mind raced. Which meant that early mornings were not his forte. As it was today, he wouldn't even have time for toast, his first class would be arriving within minutes.

He shoved the door to his classroom open, and was covered with a thick, nauseatingly sweet smelling pink liquid. It took him a moment to react, he was so shocked. Who would dare?...

Hermione. Of course.

He took out his wand and cleared the mess off his robes without a problem, but he was aware his classroom now smelt sickeningly of flowers and candy. He sniffed his sleeve. The smell was coming off of him. But it was too late to do anything about it, his students were coming in. Hermione wasn't even in this group, so he couldn't vent. He lifted his chin and swore he'd get her back for this.

-x-

Stinksap.

Of all things, stinksap.

And on a Saturday.

Hermione sat on the edge of the bath despondently. Snape, having resources she didn't, had scented her showers water source with stinksap. She reeked. And it wouldn't wash off. She'd smell like this all day.

"Hermione, how much longer are you going to be?" Called Ginny rapping on the door. "Aren't you coming to breakfast?"

Hermione shrugged on her robes. "Oh I'm coming." She said defiantly. "And I'm going to be sticking to Snape like a shadow all day."

"Why?"

She opened the door, and Ginny covered her nose as the smell wafted out.

"Because as he did this to me, he's going to have to smell it all day. That's fair."

Ginny backed away shaking her head. "Snape. You two are as insane as each other."

Hermione smiled as she followed Ginny down to breakfast. Maybe they were.


	7. Chapter 7

Monday morning. A new day, a new week, an opportunity for a new start.

Hermione stared at herself critically in the mirror. Was she perhaps going too far with this prank? If other people didn't understand why it was funny, she'd end up being humiliated herself, rather than embarrassing Snape. And that wasn't what she wanted at all. With a shrug she wound the last snake into her hair. Harry was under instructions to keep them calm during the lesson until she told him otherwise, which he could do easily with his parseltongue. That made up her mind. If Harry was in on her prank and obviously enjoying it, then everyone else would follow suit. Sometimes it was worth it having him as best friend.

She'd already skipped breakfast getting ready, so it was straight to potions…

-x-

She met Harry and Ron in the common room. Everyone's eyes widened as they saw her, and many people froze in shock. Hermione smiled at her friends, walking up to them like nothing was out of the ordinary.

"Morning guys. How are the snakes feeling Harry?"

There was a quick conversation between Harry and the snakes in her hair. Then Harry smiled. "They're fine. Enjoying the time out of their cage I think. Missing their owner a bit that's all."

"Are you sure this isn't going too far Herms?" Said Ron quietly. "I've never heard of anyone doing anything like this. Not even Fred and George."

"Which is why I am." She replied blithely. "Stop fussing Ron. It'll be funny."

_I hope._

-x-

Severus could hear the commotion going on outside his room and he paused to try and figure it out. It didn't have the edge to it that a fight or brawl would have, nor was anyone crying as far as he could tell. Everyone seemed amused in some way, which was not a common occurrence when seventh year Gryffindors and Slytherins got together. It had to have something to do with Hermione.

He waved his wand to open the door, watching attentively as the class filed in. Most people were pink in the face from merriment; a few were breathing raggedly trying to suppress laughter. He narrowed his eyes as Hermione walked in.

"Miss Granger?" He asked incredulously.

"Yes sir?"

Yes it was definitely her underneath all of that. That voice, teasing, full of mischief, daring him to react.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" He asked roughly.

Everyone held their breath, and even she looked a little taken aback at his tone of voice. He didn't allow himself to smile. He just waited for her to formulate an answer whilst taking in what she had done to herself. It was quite impressive really, the amount of effort she'd clearly gone to. Potter was whispering to the snakes in her hair. She was wearing an over the top version of a Slytherin uniform. She wore the Slytherin crest on her robe, which was trimmed in green at the edges. She'd gotten a Slytherin tie from somewhere, and was wearing it…

Snape frowned. Her uniform was, _less_ than usual. Her shirt was unbuttoned a little bit _too_ far, her jumper was a little tighter in _all_ the right places, and her skirt was far shorter than regulations allowed. And her makeup was also on the black and green theme. She'd covered every detail. He swallowed, glad once again that being a spy gave him the ability to have looked her up and down without looking like he was ogling her. Which he wasn't. Not a bit.

"I thought I'd try out for Slytherin sir."

Severus snapped back to the present, ignoring for now the avenues his mind had almost gone down whilst looking at her.

"You do not try out for houses Miss Granger, as well you know."

She pouted. She was actually pouting at him. What the hell…

"Don't you want me Professor?"

He gritted his teeth. The innuendo in her words was making even Neville smirk. That boy should be quivering in fear for Merlin's sake.

"Not only are you dressed in the incorrect uniform," he continued, "but said uniform is... inappropriate." He allowed himself a purposefully obvious sweep of her body, and quirked an eyebrow.

She blushed crimson. _Gotcha._

He moved out from behind the desk and stalked towards her. He noticed that the Potter boy was now whispering furiously to the snakes, who were getting antsy, picking up on her discomfort.

"Be quiet Potter." He snapped.

Potter gulped, but quietened.

-x-

Hermione was so annoyed at herself. She'd tried making him uncomfortable with a bit of double entendre, and he had turned it back on her so easily. She was blushing for heaven's sake! And now he's walking over, great. Suddenly she was wishing she had covered up a little bit more. And hadn't put live snakes in her hair. They were moving about a bit too much for her liking since Harry had stopped talking.

"What do you have to say for yourself Granger? As it's you, I can hardly put it down to stupidity. Insanity perhaps? Has the pressure of being everyone's favourite know-it-all finally snapped your mind?"

"I knew I was your favourite." Hermione managed to get a handle on her embarrassment, and twisted his words back at him. "As I am, can I please join Slytherin?"

"No. And enough is enough."

Snape reached out to take one of the snakes out of her hair. The snakes, now thoroughly confused and anxious, suddenly thought themselves to be under attack. And as one the snapped at Snape's hand. One of them managed to bite him. Hermione looked up at him and smiled weakly.

"Oops?"

-x-

It was Valentine 's Day, and Hermione was without a date. This was far from unusual really. She was best friends with two guys, with whom she spent all her time. No one could really get a look in unless she made an effort. Besides, she was too busy to go looking for a boyfriend; her feud with Snape was all she thought about. So, she wasn't overly bothered that she was in Hogsmeade with them rather than a significant other. In a way, she'd almost prefer to be completely on her own. At least that way she wouldn't be spending so much time hanging about in Honeydukes and Zonkos.

She was staring out of the window of Zonkos absentmindedly thinking about Snape, and the way his voice had sounded when the snake had bit him in class. And his face when he'd registered what she'd been wearing. She smiled to herself. Slowly the sound of a commotion down the street made its way to her attention. Curious, she strained her neck and tuned in to what was going on. When it registered that the shouts had something to do with a giant, she grabbed Ron and Harry and they rushed out into the street. She was suddenly glad she'd gone for jeans and a sweater instead of the kind of thing she'd been wearing earlier that week.

Coming down the street was Grawp, holding an entire rose bush in his hand, looking more confused than usual.

"He's shouting for you Hermione."

"Yes thank you Ron I can hear that." Hermione winced; Grawp really did mangle her name.

She walked out into the middle of the street and waved both her hands to get his attention. "I'm here Grawp, what is it?"

The giant beamed, and strode over to her. "Hermy!"

Hermione had to jump back as he thrust the rose bush at her. "I think he's giving you roses for Valentine's Day Hermione." Whispered Harry.

Hermione frowned. Grawp would not, could not, know about Valentine's Day unless someone told him about it. Very slowly, deliberately and possibly using flashcards. Hagrid would be unlikely to go through all that effort, he was having a hard enough time reminding his brother that Fang was a friend, not food.

"Snape." She sighed.

Ron and Harry both looked at her incredulously. "What the ruddy hell has Snape got to do with Valentine's Day?"

Hermione gave them a sharp look. "He's obviously the one who put Grawp up to this. Oh Grawp no!"

Grawp picked her up anyway. He was rough, but wasn't hurting her. The boys just looked at each other; they would clearly be no help.

Grawp held her up so he could see her. "Date?" He asked hopefully. Hermione thought fast.

"O.k. Grawp. Let's go for a walk yes?"

The giant grinned, and Hermione felt bad. Goodness knows what Snape had told him. She wasn't even sure how much Grawp understood about concepts like love. Was he anywhere near serious, or was this just the equivalent of a young child giving their teacher a card? Either way, Snape had set her up with a long, tedious afternoon to figure out and deal with it so Grawp wouldn't get hurt.

"I'll see you guys back at the castle." She called down to Ron and Harry. They shrugged and wandered back towards Zonkos. As Grawp set her up on his shoulder, Hermione could have sworn she saw a flash of a black robe whip round a corner to avoid her sight. She narrowed her eyes, her instincts had been correct then. Snape.

-x-

It was night before she made it back to the castle. She was cold, hungry, her ass hurt from sitting on Grawps shoulder all day, and she had a headache from his loud voice booming so close to her for hours. She had finally gotten him to understand what Valentine's Day actually meant, and let him down gently. He wasn't childlike really, just a little slow. Courtship wasn't much of a concept in the mountain giant community he'd grown up in; he'd just thought it was a day when you were nice to your best female friend. He'd eventually gone home a little sheepish, but not upset with her. Which was a relief. But she was still more than a little pissed off.

And now she had to walk right across the grounds, at night. Typical.

-x-

Snape was trying to grade essays, he really was. He'd dumped his robes over the back of his chair, rolled up his sleeves and unbuttoned his collar in an effort to relax, but his focus was missing. All the conversations he'd overheard in the great hall at dinner kept running through his mind. He grinned to himself in the quiet. News of Hermione's 'date' had spread like wildfire, the whole school found it hilarious. McGonagall had tutted at him a little, she was still away from the castle, but Dumbledore had admonished him whilst twinkling away so he wasn't worried about any official reprimand. Then he frowned. What did that damn headmaster find so funny?

There was no way that he could concentrate on marking this drivel now. With a sigh he stood and stretched. Perhaps a walk would clear his head. Of her. It was a beautiful night, the moon was bright and the air chill. I quick jaunt round the grounds would be just the thing.

He was just walking back towards the castle when he spotted someone walking up the main driveway. He was immediately on his guard. He slunk back into the shadows to better observe. Whoever it was looked very angry. Suddenly a stray beam of light from a window threw the figures face into view. It was Hermione. With a smirk he stepped out of the shadows and walked towards her.

"Out after curfew Miss Granger?"

She flew around at the sound if his voice. "You."

Severus lent against the stone of the castle nonchalantly, folding his arms. "Me."

"That was a step too far professor. Involving Grawp in this was unfair."

"You've used your cronies before now. Diversions and accomplices and such, I merely did the same."

"Harry and Ron knew what they were getting themselves into. Grawp had no idea what he was actually doing."

"Your date didn't go well then?" He asked innocently.

Hermione sighed and walked towards him. "You're incorrigible. My point is valid; he shouldn't be a part of what we're doing."

"And what are we doing Miss Granger?" Asked Snape, a hint of danger entering his voice. "I should be taking off dozens of points. Not returning from a Hogsmeade trip on time, out after curfew…and that's just today."

"You couldn't." Said Hermione, "Because then you'd have to explain your behaviour. You've hardly been acting like a teacher should."

"When I'm retaliating against you, I'm not your teacher." He answered slowly. "I tried that, I took off points, I assigned detention. But you persisted. So now I will retaliate in kind, independent of my role as your professor."

"Are you my teacher right now?" Asked Hermione quietly.

Snape paused, considering his options. "No." he replied, just as quietly. "No teaching robes, no class to teach. And it's the middle of the night. Right now I'm just a man that you have severely ticked off. Why did you even start all of this?"

Hermione slumped against the wall behind him. "I was bored out of my skull."

Snape quirked an eyebrow. "Really."

"Sure." Hermione glanced up at him, a small smile playing on her lips. "I'm a know it all remember? Sometimes I need something else to occupy myself."

"And you chose to become a pain in my a-… classroom?" He turned to look at her. She was now staring off into space over the grass. The wind was blowing her hair off of her face, and the light from the moon was making her look ghostly. She seemed suddenly older somehow.

"It's something to do." She finally said quietly. Her voice seemed almost, wistful. She sank down onto the grass then, her material of her sweater rasping as it slid down the stone at her back. Severus hesitated for a moment, and then lowered himself to the ground as well. Curiosity was getting to him. Perhaps he would find out why she begun this.

"N.E.W.T's aren't enough of a challenge for you?"

Hermione snorted. "N.E.W.T's? Hardly. I covered most of the material over the summer. I didn't think I'd be coming back to Hogwarts this year. As Dumbledore and Harry were discussing the horcrux issue so much I thought we'd be out helping the order in some way. I could be of more use out in the field. Instead it's decided that for some reason it can wait. The whole war can wait. So I'm stuck here."

"As am I." Said Severus. Hermione threw him a glance, and he winced. "It's no secret to you that I'm an accomplished wizard. But both my masters think I'm more valuable babysitting schoolchildren."

"Then perhaps this," Hermione waved her hand to indicate the two of them, "whatever this is, is good for both of us."

"Perhaps." He replied.

They sat in silence for a while longer, in an almost companionable quiet.

"We should go in." Said Severus eventually. "We both have class in the morning, and it's late."

"Not to mention inappropriate." Said Hermione, yawning through a smile.

"Questions would be asked." He conceded with a nod.

-x-

They stood and walked back to the castle together. Hermione stumbled a little from tiredness, and was mightily glad of the darkness for hiding her blush when Snape steadied her with a hand on the small of her back. She was only human, and had noticed he was out in just his shirt. They slipped through the doors into the castle, opening them only a crack to avoid being heard.

"Goodn—mmph!" Severus' hand was suddenly over her mouth stopping her from speaking.

"Ssh." He whispered, pulling her quickly towards a dark niche in the wall. He bundled her behind the statue first, then followed her in. It was a tight fit between the statue and the wall, and Hermione hoped Snape wasn't as aware of it as much as she was. "Quiet." He whispered. "Dumbledore and McGonagall are walking this way."

"How can you tell?" She asked, but got no reply. Instead she too fell silent as the sound of the two Professors talking drew nearer.

"And she doesn't know?" Asked McGonagall querulously.

"Hasn't a clue." Chuckled Dumbledore. "I checked the shield myself once I'd figured out what was going on. It's in terrible condition; you can't read who won it last at all. I expect he did it himself when he came back to teach here."

"She certainly knows how to pick her fights." Said McGonagall. "I shall talk to her tomorrow, make her call it off."

"Why ever would you do that?"

"It's inappropriate Albus. Some kind of silly prank war between her and him? It's not as if they have nothing else to think about. He's supposed to be our top spy, and she has her N.E.W.T's to be getting on with."

Both Hermione and Severus went very still. Hermione could swear Snape could hear her heart beating faster they were stuck so close together. She tried to move her head so she could see past his arm.

"Besides which, he's her teacher."

"Oh don't be so stuffy Minerva. As far as I'm concerned they're both just adults blowing off a bit of steam. You must have noticed how alike they are? Both of them very intelligent, and I'm afraid a little stifled here at Hogwarts. If they find life a little easier pulling ridiculous practical jokes on each other than I for one see no harm in it. No one else is getting hurt."

McGonagall sniffed. "Be that as it may, if it goes much further it will become a matter for the school governors. There are rules about students and teachers Albus. As well you know."

Hermione gasped at her head of houses implication, and Snape went if possible even stiffer, and tried to lean away from her in the tiny space.

McGonagall cocked her head. "Did you hear something Albus?"

Dumbledore looked straight at the corner where they were hiding. Hermione could swear she could see his eyes glint in mirth even from her vantage point. "Not a thing Minerva, just the castle creaking in the wee small hours I expect. It's late; we should _all_ go to our own beds."

"Indeed. Goodnight then Albus." McGonagall marched off in the direction of the Gryffindor tower, whilst the Headmaster hovered outside the gargoyle that would take him up to his office for a moment.

"Very much alike." He repeated quietly, but loud enough so that it carried. "It'll be interesting to see who wins. Levitating lollypops." And with that he went to bed.

Snape shifted against her and the two of them awkwardly extricated themselves from their hiding place.

"So you're the reigning champion for most creative pranks." Said Hermione.

Snape nodded. "I had to be creative to get my revenge on Potter and his cronies without getting caught, by them or by any teachers. So choosing to try and beat my record by picking on me was hardly your most intelligent decision to date."

Hermione squared her shoulders. "We'll see about that at the end of the year."

"I take it you're not backing down then? Unwise witch, very unwise."

"Oh I think I can give you a run for your money. I know who I'm up against now, I won't hold back."

"Then neither shall I."

The two of them stood staring at each other for a moment.

"I think I…"

"It's late we…"

Snape sighed. "Get to bed Miss Granger."

Hermione nodded and turned to the stairs.

"Oh and Miss Granger…"

Hermione turned on the stair and looked back down at him. "Yes sir?"

He smirked. "Ten points from Gryffindor."


	8. Chapter 8

Severus woke up the next morning wondering how the day would go. Hermione might lie low for a while to put Minerva's suspicions about the two of them off. That would be the sensible thing to do. Then again, the revealing conversation they'd shared plus the embarrassing moment behind the statue might put her on the offensive, to prove somehow that it hadn't affected her resolve. How was he to know how a Gryffindor witch would react? So he cast every spell detection charm he knew on his private rooms, to see if she'd started earl to try and catch him off his guard. The bucket of perfume above the door had been humiliating. A spy of his standard caught out by such an obvious prank! It's simplicity had caught him unawares. Not today.

Satisfied all was well, he got ready for the day ahead.

-x-

Hermione was wondering whether to go ahead. After everything yesterday, dared she draw attention to the two of them any more than she had already? Professor McGonagall already thought…but no she couldn't quite go there yet. She'd squirm in remembered embarrassment and the boys would notice. Would she go ahead with it had she not overheard her professor's conversation? Definitely. And she had said to Snape she wouldn't hold back. That strengthened her resolve. She couldn't back out now!

She whispered the final string of Latin that would activate the magic she'd set up around the doors into the Great Hall. She didn't have long to wait either. Snape walked in promptly a few minutes later. The moment he passed through the invisible barrier she'd set, his robes began to change. As he strode towards the teachers table, they changed colour from black to a rather lurid shade of hot pink. It took a moment for people to notice, but they soon did. Many left quickly, smothering their laughter until they were clear. Others let go a few giggles. Snape heard them, but didn't understand. Why would he? He was the only one who couldn't see the change.

He sat at the table, and helped himself to some toast. Madame Pomfrey, who was sat next to him stood up and left quickly, her face quivering. Hermione smiled innocently when he shot her a questioning look. He narrowed his eyes. Hermione knew she was busted, but revelled in the fact that he didn't have a clue what she'd done. None of the staff seemed to be about to tell him. She watched as he lent to his other side to ask Dumbledore something, probably what was going on. She laughed aloud as the headmaster just shrugged. It was at that point that Rona and Harry dragged her to her feet, and they fled.

She managed to avoid him all day. Something she was incredibly proud of. But it was time for dinner, and she had to go to the main hall. She could risk not going, but then Snape would know to corner her as she visited the kitchens later. Gryffindor pride and bravery meant she would rather face him head on. He met her at the door.

"Granger." He snarled.

"Yes Professor?" She said neutrally.

"What. Have. You. Done?"

Hermione smiled. "Me sir? Just a little prank."

His eyes rolled upwards as he took in what must have been a calming breath. "I would appreciate the specifics Miss Granger. You can have this one, whatever you've done has been heartily amusing everyone all day. It's time to reverse it."

Hermione grinned. "You won't like it." She teased. "Are you sure you want to know?"

Ginny came up behind her. "Hermione, I really think you should tell him."

"You've been walking around in hot pink robes all day professor." She said happily. "And only you couldn't tell the difference."

Snape looked at her. Then he looked down at himself. Then he glared at her. "Paybacks going to hurt Granger. Be prepared." And with that he stalked off back towards the dungeons.

Hermione burst out into laughter, not really noticing that everyone else were only laughing nervously, glancing at each other with worried expressions.

-x-

"That, that _Witch_." Muttered Snape under his breath.

He was sat on his bed, staring at a pair of teaching robes he could now see were bright pink. He should have known she would carry on. But when has she done it? How had she done it? He banged his head on the bedpost. He was actually impressed. He'd been completely humiliated today, and here he was impressed with her witchcraft. It wasn't fair. Why couldn't she be an imbecile? He paused.

He couldn't make her a dunderhead of course, but perhaps… yes. That would drive her insane. He smiled to himself. This would get her back.

-x-

It began at breakfast. Hermione was watching Snape, wondering how he'd get back.

_Mmmm black pudding._

"Since when have you like black pudding Ron?" She asked.

"What?"

She turned to look at Ron. "Didn't you just…?"

"I hate black pudding Herms. Always have." Hermione looked at Ron's plate, and true enough it was piled high with all sorts of things, but black pudding was not among them. She shook her head.

"Sorry."

_Muggle studies next. Stupid mudbloods. _

Hermione's eyes widened in shock. "Who said that?" She said loudly.

"Said what?" Asked Harry.

_Wonder if Draco'll need us tonight. _

"About muggle studies. Someone was being very rude about it. Own up this minute."

"No one said anything about muggle studies Hermione." Said Harry slowly. "We have potions next remember?"

_Uh oh. Didn't do homework. Wonder if Draco will know what a, what was it…My-cro-fo-knee is._

Hermione rubbed her temples. "Yes I know, but could have sworn someone…" On a hunch, she looked up at the teachers table. Snape was looking right at her, and smirking. When he saw her glance up, he raised an eyebrow. Hermione was at a loss. He'd done something to her, but she couldn't figure out what yet.

-x-

Oh he was enjoying this. Hermione was having trouble brewing with two people's thoughts in her head. And having Mr Goyles, the thicker of Draco's two cronies, seemed to be really slowing her down. He walked around the room, just so he could get a bit closer and see his work up close.

As he got closer to her, he could hear her muttering. Usually she was trying to help Neville, but today she seemed to be concentrating on keeping her thoughts straight.

"Not up to your usual standard today Miss Granger."

Hermione jumped. "What?"

Snape smirked down at her. "Having trouble with your hearing?"

Hermione shook her head violently. "I, no I'm just…stupid mudblood!"

Next to her Neville choked.

"Oh my god." Hermione sat down and put her head in her hands.

Snape was suddenly concerned, why was it affecting her so badly? "Miss Granger?"'

"I'm sorry sir. I can't quite think straight I…"

"Have Mr Goyles thoughts in your head. Yes I know."

"I know you put him in there, I get its mean to be funny but… he's so slow."

Snape almost smiled. "That was the idea."

Hermione groaned. "Ok ok, when will it stop?"

"About dinner time."

Hermione sighed. "Thank Merlin. He has a thing for Millicent and I don't think I could take any 'night time' thoughts."

Snape grimaced. "I would hardly subject you to that. In the meantime, I'm taking 5 points from Gryffindor. From you, this potion is a travesty."

Hermione slumped forward and banged her head against the desk. "I really want pie."

-x-

Snape was out looking for inspiration. His last prank had worked pretty well, and he wanted to keep the momentum going. It was only February so the library was empty; with no exams imminent he was pretty much guaranteed the place to himself at this time of night. Despite that, he wasn't surprised to hear her voice from the far side, under the windows. She was probably working on her homework particularly hard to make up for the trouble he'd caused her today.

"Ugh Hermione why potions? Of all the subjects." Said Ginny in disgust. "It's messy and difficult and you're just as good at charms say, or ancient runes."

Snape was surprised. Her potion today had been fine, despite what he'd said. She must know that. He moved a little closer, still hidden, to find out more.

"Is it because of him?" Ginny asked.

"No Gin," Sighed Hermione. "It's nothing to do with Snape thank you very much. It just makes sense."

"Not to me."

"Ok, listen." He watched as Hermione straightened up from whatever text she'd been reading, and concentrate on Ginny's questions. "It's true I'm a smart witch. I'm not daft; I know I excel in all the subjects I'm presented with. I could study any and all of them extra hard to help the order. But there are other people who can cover the other areas. Neville is passionate about Herbology, you have a real knack for Charms and Harry and Ron are really enjoying DADA. What's the point of having two experts in those subjects? I'm the only one with any real ability in potions, and I love it. I brewed Polyjuice in my second year Gin! I could be such a help to the order."

"Right." Said Ginny. "Except we already have Snape for potions expertise."

"Yes, for now. But what about next year? Or the year after? When Harry leaves school the war is going to step up a level. Potion brewing is a long, time consuming business and Snape's going to be busy with his spy work. There has to be someone decently competent to fill his shoes. I won't have had a potions apprenticeship, and I don't have the years of experience he has. Which is why you are stuck in here keeping my company tonight. I need to study."

Snape was impressed. He'd wondered about his schedule in the years had come, and had until now resigned himself to being constantly exhausted. Maybe he should allow Hermione use of his private stores, and free reign of his lab. If she was serious he could ask Albus to…

He stopped himself. What was he thinking? He pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. Why would he allow her even more access to his life? Inexplicably annoyed, he stalked off. He'd think of a new prank later.


	9. Chapter 9

She first considered something might be wrong when Ron choked. She'd helped herself to a big weekend cooked breakfast, but had gotten involved in a book she was reading.

"Merlin Hermione! How much salt did you put on that?"

Hermione looked down at her plate. Ron had pinched a big chunk of her hash brown.

"I didn't put any on." She replied. She nibbled a bit, and screwed up her face. It was incredibly salted. "How's yours Neville?"

Neville shrugged. "Same as usual."

She tried a bit of everything on her plate. All of it was too salty to eat. So she tried loading up another plate, running out of time now to eat anything before breakfast finished. It seemed the moment any food touched her plate, or even got within her personal space, it got so incredibly salty it was disgusting. She glanced up at the high table. Snape was studiously staring at his breakfast as if he had never seen coffee before in his life. So first Grawp, and now house elves. Well she too had some sway with the magical creatures of Hogwarts.

"Ron." She snapped, and he straightened up scared.

"What did I do?"

"This is Snape's idea of funny. Could you please put some marmite on some toast and carry it out of the hall for me?"

Ron wrinkled his nose. "Marmite?"

"Oh just do it." Hermione stood. "I'll wait for you back in the common room. I've got some planning to do."

-x-

They watched her stalk off.

"More planning?" Said Neville in disbelief.

"You'd think she'd got enough planned for that slimy git." Said Ron bitterly, stabbing at the jar of marmite with a knife.

Harry sighed. "I don't know, sometimes she seems like she knows it's meant to just be a bit of fun. Then at other times, it's like it's the most important thing in her life."

"Between this stupid prank war, and the extra potions work she's been taking on…" Started Ginny, then snapped her mouth shut.

"_Extra_ potions work?" Said Ron. "What extra potions?"

Ginny groaned. "She's been studying potions in all her spare time so next year she can be of best use to the order. She thinks Snape will be too busy with the spying to be brewing all the stuff we'll need."

"Why didn't she tell us?"

"Why do you think?" Said Ginny. "She knows you two are getting annoyed at how much energy she wastes on Snape with the pranks as it is. She didn't want you to think…oh I don't know."

"That she's getting weirdly obsessed with everything in those dungeons?" Said Harry. "Yeah well I am starting to think that. She's already good enough to brew all sorts. Has Snape being giving her extra tuition then?"

Ginny blinked, trying to remember what Hermione had said. "I don't think so; she didn't mention anything like that. It seemed like she was talking about just reading more potions texts in the library." She glanced up at the teachers table, where Snape was staring at the doors to the hall that Hermione had just walked out through. "It's hard to say with Hermione these days though."

Harry narrowed his eyes. "I think we should take on a new project of our own. Find out just exactly what is going on between Hermione and _him_."

The others all nodded in agreement.

"I just hope it's nothing." Said Ginny, "and we'll get our old Hermione back as soon as possible."

-x-

Hermione waited up. It was a Saturday night, and the common room was packed, but she was sat in her room, alone. She was aware that her behaviour could be taken in any number of ways by her friends, but it was necessary. She had decided that as Snape has managed to get house elves on side, she could definitely get Dobby to help her. Her prank was simple, but creative enough to count towards the shield. Dobby and his small band of free elf friends would tidy his study, to within an inch of its life. Anything not nailed down would be brought up to her room, so she could see what she could use, nab, or whatever. He'd get everything back, but not until after he'd panicked a bit.

Suddenly Dobby popped into existence. Hermione was amused to see he was dressed all in black, like some kind of tiny cat burglar or ninja or something.

"Is you ready?" He asked.

Hermione nodded. "Yep."

Her desk was filled with odds and ends from his study. She hadn't wanted to take things from his private quarters, which would have been particularly harsh. As it was, she now had all his…hmmm. She flicked through the piles of paper. Lecture notes, class plans, and essays yet to be marked… standard detritus you'd expect on a teacher's desk. Plus a few odds and ends like quills and paperweights. She sent Dobby back with anything that looked valuable or personal, keeping all the paperwork. None of it was special, but all of it was crucial to have for a teacher. With any luck he'd be completely lost without his notes. She bundled them all together. She'd let him stew all Sunday, then post them back to him so he'd get them Monday morning. She couldn't disrupt people's learning, or he'd have grounds to get her properly punished.

-x-

Where were his notes?

Severus walked into his study to do a bit of marking, and all his paperwork seemed to be missing. Were the elves getting overzealous perhaps? He searched inside his desks drawers. No, the missing parchments weren't in there.

"Accio paperwork." He commanded.

Nothing moved. This was bad.

-x-

Breakfast on a Monday morning. The main hall was practically empty as many students tried desperately to hang on to the weekend, and not get up until they absolutely had to. This suited Hermione fine, as it meant she could openly watch Snape and enjoy the moment when he got his post without it being picked up on by many people.

He was staring darkly at his coffee.

Hermione wondered what was going through his head. Did he even know which class he had next? Probably. She had his timetable but he was far from scatterbrained. He couldn't possibly hold all his lesson plans and things in his mind at once though. His notes had been exacting. It had actually been quite interesting reading through them. She smiled to herself. This had been a good, back-fire free prank.

The owls came screeching into the hall and she sat back in her seat to enjoy the show. A school owl landed in front of Snape, who took its parcel irritably. He ripped it open and froze when he saw what it contained. His face slipped a little, and Hermione saw relief on it for a second. Then his head snapped up and he stared straight at her. Hermione nodded slightly with a smile to acknowledge his suspicions. He sighed, then smiled slightly and raised his coffee cup to her in… was that some kind of salute?

Hermione dipped her head to stare at her breakfast, not sure how to react. She could feel herself starting to blush, so she gathered her things and left the hall, not looking back at him. What the hell was she feeling anyway? He'd only signalled some kind of, what? Friendly acknowledgement of her prank? Respect for it? Regardless, it should not be tying her stomach up in knots. Thank goodness she had Herbology next not potions.

-x-

Snape watched her duck her head to avoid his gaze, and blush. What? She was blushing? She'd just won one over on him big time, what was she embarrassed for?

He watched her hurriedly gather her things and leave, half her breakfast uneaten on her plate. He frowned. He'd probably never understand her. He finished his coffee and gathered up the parcel that contained all the notes he'd been frantically trying to remember all of yesterday. Then he too left to start the day.

-x-

Hermione was holding off. She was telling herself it was because it was his turn to retaliate but she wasn't so sure if she was being honest with herself. Okay, she'd had flashes of attraction to Snape now and again since she'd begun this whole thing, which came with the territory; she was seeing another side to him. A side where he wasn't such a bastard and was wandering about in just a shirt. But the other day at breakfast… that was strange. And silly. A silly little school-girl crush at her age? And for him? Ridiculous. Far worse than that thing with Lockhart.

She sighed. Ginny looked at her strangely, so she managed to force a smile. It didn't fool her though.

"You need to eat Hermione. You've only been picking at your food for days now."

Hermione prodded her porridge. "I just don't feel very hungry Gin. Nothing to worry about." She yawned.

"See!" Said Ginny, rounding on Ron and Harry. "She's hardly eating and exhausted. Can't you two talk to her?"

"And say what?" Said Harry. "Hermione knows," He continued, looking pointedly at Hermione, "that she can talk to us if something's wrong. Anything at all."

Hermione smiled wanly at him. "Thanks Harry, but really I'm fine. Just had a few late nights is all."

She winced as the owls came screeching into the hall. When one landed perilously close to her bowl, she had a plummeting feeling of dread in her gut. She looked up at the teachers table on a hunch, and sure enough, Snape was so obviously not watching her he had to be guilty. She never got post that wasn't the Daily Prophet.

So it was with a great deal of trepidation that she reached for the thin package. She tried to open it inconspicuously, but Ron, Ginny and Harry were watching her hawkishly. She ripped off the top flap, and peered inside without taking whatever it was out.

"Oh my god!" She exclaimed, and flushed bright red.

"What is it?" Asked Ron.

Hermione snatched it up out of his reach, but Harry was too fast for her. He upended it and shook out a copy of playwizard magazine.

"Eww." He cried, pushing it back towards Hermione.

Ginny intercepted it and began flicking through. "Hermione this makes umm… interesting reading."

"Obviously I didn't order it." Snapped Hermione, and snatched it back from her. "Incendio."

The magazine burst into flames, the ashes falling on the table in front of her. She swept them onto the floor and wiped her hands on her robe.

"Well who would have?" Laughed Harry.

"Do you really need to ask?" Said Hermione angrily, glaring up at the teachers table.

"Snape?" He said incredulously. "Hermione, okay it's funny. But Snape wouldn't order you…that kind of thing. Someone else must have pranked you."

Hermione pointed at Snape. "Look at him. His back is slightly shaking!"

They looked at her blankly.

"Well obviously he's trying not to laugh. That's why he's talking to Flitwick."

"Or he might be laughing at something Flitwick's saying…" Suggested Ginny.

Hermione rolled her eyes and stood. "Well if you can't see it, you obviously don't know what he's like."

"And you do?" Asked Ginny quietly.

Hermione paused. "I guess so." Then she left.

-x-

"Severus!"

Severus spun around. "Pomona, Filius, can I help you?" The staff meeting had just finished, and he was hoping to disappear quickly.

Professors Sprout and Flitwick were beaming at him. This was unusual and unwelcome.

"We just wanted to give you a few ideas for your prank war with dear Hermione!" Said Sprout.

Severus raised an eyebrow. "Indeed. I was not aware my actions were under scrutiny."

"No no Severus," Said Flitwick. "You're always so dour. You're not under scrutiny; we just find both your pranks ever so amusing."

"I am not acting for your amusement." He said sharply.

Sprout rolled her eyes. "Honestly Severus, must you take everything so literally? Anyway, my idea is…"

"Of no consequence." Said McGonagall.

She walked over to the little group, her eyes piercing.

"As far as I'm concerned the whole situation has gotten out of control. Severus, when she began this whole thing you should have just turned her over to me to deal with. Instead you are completely disregarding your duty as an authority figure and insist on 'pranking' her back."

"I have broken no rules." He said crisply. "I have been careful about that Minerva."

"Oh yes very careful." She mocked. "How hard have you been working to keep this new interest of yours quiet?"

Severus scowled at her. "Just what are you getting McGonagall?"

"I'm just wondering if these pranks are the only things about Hermione you've been keeping quiet."

"Oh yes." Said Severus nastily. "I'd forgotten your little theory. A completely unfounded, unprofessional and ignorant belief that I'm what, pursuing a student? Honestly witch do you think so little of me?"

"Enough." Said Dumbledore. He stepped forward, and everyone fell silent.

"Come now Minerva, we've discussed this. Severus' word is his bond, if he says there is nothing untoward between him and Miss Granger then I think we should believe him."

Dumbledore turned to Severus, who was even more infuriated to see that the headmaster was twinkling at him again behind his half moon glasses. Did he really find the insinuations being thrown at him amusing?

"I'm right, aren't I my boy?"

Severus scoffed. "Need you really ask? Honestly Albus this is ridiculous, if there is nothing else?"

The headmaster shook his head, so Severus stormed off. What was worst, what really rankled, was that he wasn't sure given enough time Minerva wouldn't be so off the mark.


	10. Chapter 10

CHAPTER 10

"Are you sure she'll do it Dobby?" Asked Hermione anxiously.

The elf nodded enthusiastically and she sighed. It would have been so much easier to use the more reliable Dobby, but Severus would recognise him and get suspicious.

-x-

Snape sighed as he heard another elf pop into his quarters. He'd had several come to see him that morning. Some had been from Pomona and Filius with ideas, one from Poppy asking him if he wanted a stress remedy, she had a new one in stock. An elf he knew to be particularly attached to Minerva had slinked about for a while cleaning in a superficial way. Minerva wouldn't see it as spying on him, she'd never admit to stooping to such behaviour. But that was what it amounted to.

"What is it now?" He snapped. The elf bobbed nervously.

"Dumbledore told Winky to ask Professor Snape to the lake. His expertise is needed." Then the timid thing was gone. Snape rubbed his eyes wearily. He'd scared her off before he could ascertain the reason that his 'expertise' was needed. In what capacity? As a teacher, potions master or spy? Well no matter. He put aside his work and hurried down to the lake.

As he drew nearer, he saw no sign of the headmaster, or any hint of recent trouble. Hagrid was walking along the shore looking puzzled, but that, Snape thought uncharitably, was no surprise.

"Professor." Hagrid had spotted him and was stomping his way over.

"What is the matter here Hagrid?" Asked Snape, once the half-giant had reached him.

Hagrid scratched his chin. "Well the giant squids shed a tentacle which ain't no shocker right enough." He paused.

"So why have I been summoned out here by the headmaster? Surely this is your, and I use the phrase loosely, area of expertise."

Hagrid shrugged. "Dunno. Mebbe cos this ain't the squids shedding time. Normally sheds in winter, so it can fit into its little cave in the lake to keep warm and that. But it's long past that time. It oughta be growing 'em not losing 'em. P'raps it needs a potion or summat to sort itself out."

Snape sighed. "Very well Hagrid, I'll look into it. You may go."

Hagrid gave him a worried look, but left anyway. Snape could see, now that Hagrids bulk was no longer in his line of sight, a tentacle washed up o the shore of the lake. He trudged down to the shoreline for a closer look. The tentacle seemed to have been shed very neatly. As far as he could remember, the skin was usually more tattered as it fragmented off from the main body of the squid. He crouched down and ran his hand over the severed flesh. It was cold. The hairs on the back of his neck went up as he suddenly suspected foul play. But before he had a chance to react, a very real and alive tentacle had wrapped itself around his middle, yanking him off his feet.

-x-

Hermione literally collapsed with laughter at the sight of her rival being swept off his feet, and waved around like a rag doll, yelling at the top of his voice. Occasionally he would be dunked in the water, to resurface spluttering. She grabbed a hold of the boulder she had been hiding behind and dragged herself back to her feet. She watched until the squid had enough of its new toy, and dumped Snape unceremoniously in the shallows. He slowly made his way back to shore, struggling against the weight of his sodden robes and looking miserable. Making a split second decision Hermione came out from behind the rock. Snape turned and looked at her, his eyes narrowing. She grinned and waved at him.

"Good morning professor."

"There was no message from the headmaster was there." He said bluntly.

"Nope." Hermione replied smugly. Snape sighed, dried his robes with a flick of his wand and began walking back towards the castle. Hermione caught up and fell into step beside him. She summoned up a few flames of the blue fire she was so adept at creating. "Put your hand out sir." He raised an eyebrow at her and she smiled. "No tricks, you've had enough for today. This'll just warm you up a bit."

He stopped and allowed her to pour the flames out of her hand into his. He twisted his hand back and forth a few times, watching the tendrils of flame dance around his fingers. "This looks familiar..." He pierced her with a look. "Your first year, a quidditch match."

Hermione had the grace to look a bit sheepish. "Well I did think you were evil back then. It really did look like you were the one cursing Harry's broom... so I had to distract you."

"Typical Gryffindor, jumping to conclusions."

"Oh dear, are we reverting to petty house insults?"

"You'll have to make allowances; I'm still recovering from my ordeal."

"Like you'd cut me any slack."

"True." Snape looked over at the castle. "Is there any chance this episode was witnessed by others?"

Hermione shook her head. "No, not this one. A crowd might have given the game away." Snape's shoulders relaxed a little.

"Good day then Hermione, congratulations." And he strode off, leaving Hermione wondering when they'd slipped into first name terms.

xXx

Hermione was up late in the library again on a Friday night. Ginny had refused to sit with her on a weekend night, so she was alone. Her table was covered in advanced potions textbooks, from which she was transcribing some techniques for more efficient ingredient preparation. The candles were burning low, and starting to flicker erratically. Hermione rubbed her eyes in irritation; she could barely keep them open. She glanced at a clock in the corner and frowned. It was just gone half eleven. She could normally study into the early hours without getting tired. Had she been overdoing it?

She yawned again, her eyes watering. Her mind was clouding over, and her vision swam before her eyes. Her last thought before her head hit the desk in slumber was that something was up, and Snape was behind it.

-x-

The cold woke her. Why was it cold? Why was it so windy in the library?

He eyes opened. It was dark. Hermione felt around as she sat up; she seemed to be up a tree. She reached for her wand, only to find it missing. Frantically she searched all her pockets, but no, it was definitely gone. Her eyes had adjusted now, the moon and stars and lights from the castle giving her surroundings a silvery edge. With a groan she realised which tree, of all trees, Snape had put her up.

"The whomping willow?" She called into the night. "You're a bastard sir!" And she laughed. This was a challenge!

There was no reply, but she hadn't really expected one. Instead she turned her attention to getting down. She had been tucked into a crevice in the huge trunk, which was slightly worn as if something slept there often. Running her fingers round it, she felt a small tuft of fur. She raised it to her nose and sniffed. Crookshanks. Well if the cat could get up and down, surely she could? Would the willow make life difficult for her if she was already in the tree to start with? She spotted a likely looking bough beneath her position and started lowering herself onto it. Suddenly the tree came to life, and swatted her back into the crevice. Hermione curled up into a ball as the willow made a show of flailing its limbs about. She wasn't getting down from here as easily as she'd thought...

-x-

Snape watched with satisfaction as Hermione scurried back into the crevice he had managed to get her into. He was smirking in the night, watching from a safe distance as his plan work perfectly. He had nearly revealed himself when she'd shouted to him into the night, but had managed to not react. Sticks and stones... She had actually laughed at her predicament. He grinned to himself, it was nice to be appreciated.

She was standing up now, peering out of her prison.

"Professor Snape?"

He considered answering. But she'd been up there for what, forty minutes since she'd woken up? About that. Far too early to rescue her. He could wait.

-x-

Hermione figured it had to be about six in the morning. It would still be a dark for a little while yet, up in Scotland in March, but she had to be let down soon. He had to come back so she could – though she baulked at the work – be rescued. She tried to get down again at about three, judging by the moon, but had just got a nasty thump in the side for it. There was no blood, but she had heard something crunch. She was cold and exhausted, and getting a little teary from it. Being without her wand was leaving her feeling uncomfortably exposed and helpless.

"Professor Snape?" She called out again. "Sir, are you there?"

There was no answer, but highlighted by the pre-dawn shimmer of light on the horizon, Hermione thought she saw a shadow under a tree at the edge of the forest that was out of place.

"Professor, is that you down there?"

There was no answer, but she was sure she saw something move. She edged out as far as she could, mindful of her side, which was throbbing painfully.

"Come on sir," She cried. "I know you're there." She bit her lip, not wanting to cry. Her side was really hurting, but she had a last vestige of pride that didn't allow her to show her weakness to him. Then he would have won completely. But the longer she was up there the worse it was getting...

"Severus?" She called quietly. "Please..."

-x-

Severus snapped to attention. That wasn't a tone of voice he'd heard from her before. He jumped to his feet and walked towards the tree.

"Hermione?"

He saw her slump in relief. "I think I've had enough now."

He was concerned; her voice seemed weaker than it should be. A slightly uncomfortable, sleepless night should not have had that much of an effect. He accioed a twig and used it to touch the knot in the tree. The willow froze, and he hurried forward towards it.

"The willow is frozen now, you can climb down now."

"I... I don't think I can."

Snape frowned, once immobile there should be no difficulty getting down from the tree, there were numerous branches to use. "Let go of the tree then, I'll levitate you down." Hermione let go of the branch she was clinging to, and Severus gently lowered her down to the ground. He could see immediately that something was wrong. She was almost bent double, and seemed to be having trouble breathing. He hurried over to her. "What happened?"

She smiled at him weakly, still managing to keep her eyes from brimming over. "A branch happened." She touched her side lightly with her hand. "Think I might have broken a rib."

Severus crouched down next to her, pulling her robe aside and her top up a little he looked at the bruising on her side. "Does this hurt?" He asked, pressing gently but firmly where she was purple.

"Yes." Hermione hissed, sucking in a breath.

He stood back up, forcing a smile onto his face so she wouldn't see how concerned he was. " Hermione Jane Granger, why didn't you say something? This bruising is several hours old."

Hermione shrugged, and then winced. Severus winced in sympathy. "Well you've definitely done something to your rib, cracked or broken I don't know yet. Can you walk alright?"

"Of course." And she did start walking towards the castle, but the movement must have been tugging on some of the muscles in her chest. Severus took a quick glance around, it was still early; not many people would be around....

-x-

"Lean on me."

Hermione looked round in surprise. "What?"

"The use of the stretcher spell will alert the infirmary, and if Pomfrey and McGonagall learn how badly you've been hurt because of my actions we'll be under more scrutiny than ever. No more pranks. So either you can lean on me and hobble in or I can carry you."

Hermione nodded. "Fine."

Despite wanting to seem strong in front of him, she was glad of his strong arm to lean on. Which she did quite heavily. Who'd of though walking would use so many chest muscles? They made their way slowly back to the castle stopping frequently for Hermione to catch her breath. Once inside, Severus left her alone for a little while as he rushed to his quarters to get the potions that would heal her rib without Pomfrey getting involved. Hermione sank onto a bench just past the main doors to rest while she waited. There was no need to hide, who would be up at this time on a Saturday?

"Hermione?"

"Neville?" She couldn't believe it, it couldn't be seven yet!

"What are you doing up at this early?" He asked, walking over. He was dressed in overalls, clearly off to do some extra hours in the herbology greenhouses.

"More of a late night that an early morning I'm afraid." She grimaced. "I guess I got a little carried away in the library."

"Well you look like you've had quite a night of it, you look exhausted." Said Neville. "In fact..." He paused and bent over, plucking a twig and a few leaves out of her hair "... any night you have to lie to your friends about must have been pretty intense."

Hermione cringed. Foliage in her hair and some pretty rumpled looking clothes... no wonder Neville was jumping to conclusions.

"So..." Neville sat down next to her on the bench. "Who is he? It's not Ron or Harry, they were still in bed when I got up."

"It's really _really_ not like that Neville."

"Oh come on Hermione, you can tell me." He nudged her on the ribs, and she gasped in pain, clutching at her side. "What's wrong?" He backed up and gave her another look. "What's going on here Hermione?"

It was at that moment that Severus returned. Severus hadn't seen him, as he was walking whilst reading the dosage instructions. He knew exactly what dose he needed, but a young female patient would need a lesser strength. "This should do the trick Hermione, Pomfrey would know for sure but as we can't go to her..." He trailed off as he realised they weren't alone. "Longbottom?"

"Yes sir."

Neville was doing a fine impression of a rabbit in the headlights of a car, but he was eighteen now and not as scared as he had once been. Despite his surprise, Hermione could see his mind ticking over in his big, open, honest face. He took in Severus' dishevelled clothes, and his equally tired eyes. Hermione managed to smile despite her panic. "It's ok Neville, I cracked a rib and Se, Professor Snape, didn't want to worry Pomfrey over it."

Neville shot her a look, but he wasn't going to argue with Snape so close. He stood up awkwardly. "I'll see you at breakfast then Hermione."

She nodded and smiled again, though she knew it had to look a bit forced. "Yep, see you there. And Neville, there's no need to tell anyone else about this ok? Harry and Ron would just fuss; you know what they're like."

Neville didn't answer, but he nodded and then left quickly through the main door off into the grounds.

"Here." Severus sat down next to her and passed the vial. She swallowed the potion grimacing at the taste.

"Vile of course."

"It's expected." He looked towards the doors. "Think he'll say anything?"

"Not for a little while. Then his honour will kick in and he'll feel it's his duty to tell someone. It'll be one of the boys though, maybe Ginny, not a professor."

"Well keep an eye on him."

"Sure." Hermione stood, her rib now healed. "It still aches a little bit."

"I cured the bone, not the bruising. It'll fade soon enough."

"Right. Well goodnight then Snape." She couldn't quite bring herself to say his name again.

"Goodnight Granger."


	11. Chapter 11

Neville kept quiet, and her bruises healed. There was a general scaling down of pranks too, just in case. Whatever they did happened out in the open, so there could be no room for people to accuse them of anything inappropriate between student and teacher. This change wasn't discussed between them, it didn't need to be. Hermione wondered whether Severus was also feeling the twinges of attraction she was. Nothing either of them said or did anything that went beyond indications of a blooming friendship, they couldn't really. But sometimes when she caught his eye she thought she saw mirrored there her own confusion for how she felt about him.

-x-

Severus was running late again. Mornings were not his best time of day however disciplined he was. But as his usual demeanour was such that a bit of extra grouchiness was overlooked by both staff and students. Today was no different. He was late for breakfast, with a class first thing so he would have no chance to summon something from the kitchen elves. So he swept into the main hall in a world of his own, intent on nothing but coffee. He noticed Hermione sat on the Gryffindor table out of the corner of his eye. But he chose not to acknowledge her; she was sat with Potter and Weasley, who he really couldn't be bothered with. It was just too early.

In a world of his own, he pulled out his chair and sat down.

PFAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRP.

Snape jumped back up out of his seat. Incredulously, he looked down and saw nothing out of the ordinary, except for a slight shimmer suggesting something had just been disappeared with magic. The shocked silence ended, and he could hear the muted sniggers of his students. He glanced over at the Gryffindor table, to see Hermione completely bent over, head on the table, shoulder shaking. Her two goons were just sat there, mouths agape. He rubbed his eyes tiredly. There was no way he could walk away from this, whichever way he went, angrily shouting, quietly smouldering – this would be round the school before lunch with him the butt of yet another joke.

"Infantile, and rather disappointing." He said, obviously looking at Hermione ".I've come to expect more."

And he sat back down. And poured his coffee.

-x-

It began in Herbology. A small itch began on her wrist, she assumed it was from the plants they were handling. That was fine, her gloves were a little short and the fine hairs on a Lacklewurt could cause a slight reaction. So she slapped on some of the cream Professor Sprout provided.

By lunch, the itch had spread up her arm and round her chest and back. At first she'd scratched, but people were giving her funny looks now as she tried really hard to every itch. That was when a suspicion began in the back of her mind. She had potions last lesson after all. This was bound to be down to Snape.

By last lesson, there wasn't a part of her that wasn't itching. And it wasn't all over, all the time either. If that had been the case, the human brain would have, to an extent, gotten used to it. Started to block it out in the same way we ignore background noise. But no, instead an itch would begin. A mere tickle. Then it would get worse and worse until she couldn't bear it.... and stop. Then the tickle would begin somewhere else. She had the top of her head, the crook of her knee, her left elbow, her right elbow, the small of her back, her neck, her nose. It kept returning to her nose. She'd tried scratching them, ignoring them, charming them. Nothing worked.

Brewing her potion was difficult. Her hands twitched as she prepared the ingredients. She dropped her stirring rod in the cauldron several times as she automatically reached for a sudden itch. Basically, her potion sucked. Still technically correct, but nowhere near her usual standard. Her usual finesse was impossible. And she could see him, up at the front. Watching her and smirking. It was intolerable. And yet she couldn't get angry with him.

Just as Severus hadn't been angry that morning, she was unable to get angry now. Ron and Harry were throwing him hateful looks, and muttering between themselves, but she felt like laughing. By the end of the lesson, the tickle she felt as another bout of itchiness began made her giddy, she wanted to smile, maybe shout out where this one was. Let him know she knew it was him but didn't mind. That she found it funny too. Eventually, she got her chance. Everyone else finished their potions before her, so when the bell went they had cleared up any mess at their desks and were ready to go. Hermione however, was only just filling her vial. That done, the itching stopped. And didn't come back.

Hermione looked around and saw that the classroom was empty but for her and Snape, and he was walking towards her. He stretched out his hand and she gave him the vial.

"Whoopee cushion?" He said.

Hermione nodded. "Itching powder?"

"Indeed, a magical one, though inspired by your muggle prank."

"I'm honoured."

"It's a shame though, such traditional pranks will not be taken into account for the award."

"Mine will be."

Severus raised an eyebrow and sat on her desk. "Why, pray tell, would that be?"

Hermione hopped onto the desk on his right. "I used a muggle device. I'm sure there is some wizarding way to achieve the same auditory effect, but I doubt these hallowed halls have come across a muggle whoopee cushion before. Whereas magical itching powder is common. So I win this one." She looked down, concentrating on the contrast between his legs and hers, which she was swinging as she waited for his response.

The fingers on his hand next to her began to tap on the desk, the familiar tattoo of the annoyed.

"Come on, cat got your tongue?" Asked Hermione cheekily. Snape still said nothing, though his fingers continued to tap. Hermione pressed down on his fingers with her left hand, forcing them to stop. "Snape?"

He signed and looked up at the ceiling. "Alright, I can think of no loophole. You win this round." He looked back down, and stared her in the face."Though next time I will win fair and square. Be warned witch."

Hermione just rolled her eyes. "Please, I'm not scared of you anymore. You already did the intimidating thing back when we started this." She leaned in a little closer, and whispered. "To be honest, that whole routine is getting a little tired."

Snape smiled. Then actually laughed out loud. "Get out of here witch. I'll deal with you tomorrow."

Hermione grinned back, and jumped off the desk. The moment her hand left his it began to tap again. "Tomorrow then."

He nodded his head. "Think you'll be ready?"

"Always."

As she left, she heard a snort of amusement from him. He must have just thought of something. She walked up the corridor biting her lip, trying to stop a smile from spreading over her face. She didn't notice Ron's foot sticking out from behind a pillar. Why would she? The rest of him, and Harry, was covered by the invisibility cloak...

-x-

Snape glowered at himself in the mirror. He'd tried everything he could think of to get it off. Even plain soap and water. The whiskers and little black cat's nose on his face were refusing to budge. He was going to have to go and find her in person and ask her how to get rid of it.

He stomped up out of the dungeons, extinguishing all the lights he passed as went. The shadows would hide his face from anyone wandering the halls past curfew. He got to the Gryffindor tower without being seen, but ducked into an even darker alcove when he saw figures outside the Pink Lady's portrait.

"You can't go looking for her Harry, it's past curfew." It was Miss Weasley, evidently trying to talk some sense into Potter. "She's bound to be in the library with one of her special passes to get around curfew."

Potter's shoulders slumped. "I just wanted to talk to her about it now, not later."

"You can't afford detention with a quidditch match coming up. You'll see her tomorrow, that'll have to be soon enough. It'll give us time to plan what to say, this kind of thing has to be handled carefully."

Snape watched as the Potter boy allowed himself to be herded back into the common room. He wondered what was so important to Potter, that he had considered missing a quidditch match to tell Hermione. Then he slid out of his hiding place and went back the way he had come, heading for the library. But when he got there, he found it empty of Hermione's presence as well. He frowned. The... facial decorations... had to be removed tonight. He could hardly teach with whiskers in the morning. Where else could she be? The room of requirement was being used by Dumbledore that night, so she wasn't there. He clicked he fingers as he realized. Moaning Myrtle's bathroom. It had been boarded up following the revelation it was the entrance to the chamber of secrets. If Hermione was hiding anywhere, it was there.

Sure enough, the boards Filch had nailed across the door were neatly stacked to one side; probably to be replaced once she left. He opened the door quietly, hoping to catch her unawares but he needn't have bothered. Hermione was slumped on the floor, lying down with her hair sprawled over a pile of books. All the lights in the room were out, the only light came weakly from the stars through the filthy windows. Snape darted across the room in a flash, pressing his hands to her neck to feel for a pulse.

Suddenly she jerked upright with a shriek, hitting her head on the underside of a sink and sending him toppling backwards.

"What the _hell_." She shouted, twisting round to see who it was. Her mouth dropped open as she saw Snape picking himself up, trying to look haughty.

"I thought you were unconscious." He said quickly.

"Well I was." She snapped, rubbing her head. "I was asleep. You have really cold hands"

"Well I thought it might have been something more sinister." He bit back harsher words. "I was looking for you, and saw you lying down in the dark at the base of the entrance to the Chamber of Secrets when I expected you to be awake. The books around you gave the impression you had planned on working." His explanation seemed to mollify her slightly, and she leaned back against the sinks.

"I was." She motioned at the books, but now that she had moved Snape could see a number of chopping boards, bowls of potion ingredients and various knives.

"What are you making?" His tone was suspicious, which only seemed to irritate her again.

"Nothing."

He came closer, and sat at her side. On closer inspection, he saw that she was correct. What he thought were potions ingredients were nothing more than an assortment of vegetables. "Making soup Hermione?" He looked sideways at her. But instead of the cheeky retort he expected, she was silent. She seemed uncomfortable, chewing her lip with her hands knotted in her lap. He nudged her with his shoulder.

Hermione sighed. "I was practicing." She admitted.

Severus glanced at the finely chopped and diced vegetables in front of him. "Practicing what exactly?"

"Slicing." She paused, and then spoke quickly, as if talking fast would lessen her embarrassment. "And dicing, and chopping. To get my speed up and dexterity perfect because I think that if I can reduce ingredient preparation time, I can reduce overall brewing time by one third."

Snape cocked an eyebrow. "Just one third?"

Hermione craned her neck so she was looking up at the ceiling, and not at him. "The faster the better. One day, every second could count."

Snape then realized what she was doing. She was preparing for the time when she would take over his potions duties for the order. Unasked, she was up at all hours planning for the future. And when she saved her colleagues over and over again, her prowess would be taken for granted. Unappreciated. Except by him. She had exhausted herself to the point of falling asleep on the floor of a cold, damp, mildewing bathroom to save him precious time when the war hotted up. They sat in silence for a while. Her head slowly dropped onto this shoulder as she relaxed and fell asleep again.

"This won't do." He said quietly. She stirred slightly, but didn't move.

_She must be exhausted_, he thought to himself. _This cannot be allowed to continue_.

He twisted a little and shook her shoulder. "Hermione." He said softly. "Hermione wake up."

She burrowed further into his shoulder, like one would burrow into a pillow when morning comes too soon. He jiggled his shoulder to make it uncomfortable, and she blearily lifted her head.

"This won't do." He repeated.

Hermione seemed suddenly awake, and once again embarrassed. "I'm so sorry." She whispered. "I didn't mean to fall asleep on you. I should never..." She looked away from him, and moved to gather her books.

"Leave that." He said firmly. "And look at me." She didn't, so he reached out and with one hand stopped her from gathering books, and with the other took hold of her chin and moved it so she faced him. "I didn't mean that. I meant exhausting yourself practicing potions late at night, in dank bathrooms." He let go of her chin, but not before gently stroking his thumb along her jaw. He cupped her cheek with his hand. "You're cold." He said quietly. "You'll get ill if you're not careful."

"I'm sorry..." She began. But he cut her off.

"Sorry won't cut it if I'm called away, and you're too sick or tired to brew a potion if needed." He watched her widen her eyes. "That's right. I know why you're doing this. For the Order. As it happens, I agree that you are the only other person I would trust to brew as well as me. Dumbledore is as competent, but he would be distracted with other things." He nodded sideways at her things. "It can't be easy practicing on the floor with kitchen knives. From now on, you'll do this in my lab, with the full range of athames at your disposal." He realized he was still cupping her face, and moved his hand away slowly, hoping she hadn't noticed. "For now, I'll help you get this tidied up and then you're going straight to bed. Doctors orders."

Hermione smiled weakly, nodding. They packed everything away into her bag, and were about to leave when Snape caught her by the wrist and stopped her. "Wait a second." He closed the door, shutting off the light from the corridor outside. Then he conjured a glowing orb and set it to float next to his head. "Would you mind removing these whiskers before we leave? I've had to stay in my rooms all day to avoid seeing anyone."

Hermione complied, muttering a string of words under her breath that he couldn't quite catch. It was a sign of how tired she was, he thought, that she didn't laugh, or crow over her successful prank.

"Done." She said.

A moment later he extinguished the orb, and turned again to leave. There was a sudden noise in one of toilet cubicles, a large splash that echoed in the otherwise silent room. Hermione stumbled in the dark, almost falling. Severus easily caught her, his vision having adapted faster to the dark after the orb went out. He dragged her away from the door into a corner, holding her tight against him with her face firmly buried in his chest so she wouldn't see anything; his other arm ready with a wand. Who knew what else might have crawled up out of the chamber, this room was locked up for a reason. Dumbledore (against Snape's advice) hadn't even bothered to check the basilisk hadn't laid any eggs of its own. At least this way, if he was petrified Hermione would not be.

The cubicle door flew open with another crash but it was only moaning Myrtle who floated across the room, and out through the closed door. She was distracted, and didn't notice the two of them clutching at each other in the corner. Severus breathed again.

"It was just Myrtle?" Asked Hermione breathlessly, looking up at him as he abandoned his grip on the back of her head. She too had been holding her breath in anticipation.

"Yes." Snape lowered his arms, leaving them draped loosely on her waist. "But it could have been something worse. Why of all the unused rooms in Hogwarts did you pick this one?"

She shrugged against his chest, leaning into him as they both stood waiting for their hearts to slow and their breathing to even out. "Because no one would think to look for me here except for those that know me best."

Snape dropped his chin to rest on the top of head. "Foolish." He said.

"Possibly." She replied.

They stood like that, in an embrace, for several minutes. Neither of them wanting to be the first to move, because to move would be to acknowledge the compromising position they were in. Eventually though, the sound of someone walking on the floor above them returned them to their senses. They left the room, re-sealing it with the planks and went their separate ways in silence. Both of their minds rebelling against what they had just shared. A tender moment. Snape shook his head. What was it about her that had him forgetting, even for those few moments, who he was, and who she was? Student and teacher. Gryffindor and Slytherin.

_What am I doing?_


	12. Chapter 12

Harry was pretty pissed off. Hermione had slunk into the common room late last night, looking pretty shifty but with some dopey smile that she kept trying to hide. He'd stood there in front of everyone, asking her where she'd been and she refused to answer him. Gave him some dumb excuse about being in the library which he didn't buy for one second. He wasn't as stupid as she thought. If she'd been in the library she'd have that glazed over look she always got when she'd been studying. As it was she looked pretty animated. In the middle of him getting to the bottom of everything she'd actually bitten her lip to stop a smile creeping over her face. What was up with that? If she had any respect for him she wouldn't be tempted to grin when he was having a go at her.

Eventually, she'd just told him to mind his own business and disappeared up the staircase to bed. Just like that. Without letting him, Ron, Ginny or anyone work out what she was doing. Well today it would be different. Today all of her friends were going to corner her and get to work. Find out where she was going, who she was going with and what was up with her and Snape anyway. What he'd seen with Ron that day beggared belief...

"Morning guys."

Harry looked up in surprise. Here she was, acting like nothing had happened the night before. Hermione was just sitting down with them, opening her mail like nothing was up. He narrowed his eyes at the letter she'd got. A letter she read, smiled at, and tucked into her pocket with no explanation to her friends.

"Hey Hermione." Said Ginny, and he swallowed what he was going to say at his girlfriend's stern look. Ginny was right, breakfast in the Great Hall was no place to do this. Besides, Snape was there. Harry twisted in his seat. Yep, there was the old git sitting there sipping his coffee. Acting like he'd done nothing wrong, disgusting. Harry had the feeling the potions master had been watching them, and only just turned away. The guy made his skin crawl.

"Hermione, are you free this morning?" Asked Ginny innocently.

"Well..." Hermione looked like she was about to evade them again.

"It's just I could really do with some help. I can't seem to get the wand movements to work for a set of charms. The book just isn't clear enough. I thought maybe we could grab a spare classroom and you could help me through it?"

Harry watched as Hermione squirmed. Ginny was something of a weak spot for her – the only real female friend she had at Hogwarts. Ginny had always gone to Hermione for advice.

"Alright." Hermione replied. "But only for a short while, I've got things to do later." Harry watched her as she picked up the toast she'd prepared and rose to leave.

Ginny beamed. "Fantastic! I'll see you in the fourth floor, 6th room on the right off of the south staircase."

Hermione smiled absently, and walked out of the hall. Opposite him, Ron nodded at the teachers table. Harry glanced over, and sure enough Snape was watching the door, and once Hermione was out, got up and left the hall as well. Ron banged his mug down on the table angrily. "They're not even subtle about it. It's disgusting."

"My thoughts exactly." Said Harry quietly.

Ginny out her hand on his arm. "It's going to be fine." She said soothingly. "We'll have a chat with her in a bit, get this all straightened out. I can't believe you saw... what you saw. I mean, it's..."

"Disgusting." Finished Ron darkly.

-x-

When Hermione walked in the classroom, Harry stepped out from behind the door and shut it. She spun around in surprise but he just looked at her sternly, his resolve never faltering. "Hermione, this is a friendly intervention."

"What are you on about Harry? Ginny wants..."

"The truth." Said Ginny firmly. "We've all been concerned about you the last few months, but as you're my best friend I've given you the benefit of the doubt. You're smart, mature, steady. All of that. You knew what you were doing. You'd never take it too far. But yesterday Ron and Harry told me some things they saw after your potions lesson the other day and I couldn't believe it. That's why you're here."

Harry watched Hermione's face crinkle in confusion. She was either a very good liar, or she honestly didn't think she'd done anything wrong.

"Ginny, Harry Ron, I don't know what you mean. After potions? I..."

"We saw you and Snape..." Ron spat the word, "...holding hands."

"In the classroom after the rest of us had all left." Added Harry. "We were under the invisibility cloak Hermione, we were by the door and we saw everything."

"You were spying on me?"

"So you admit it."

"I'm not admitting anything. Me and Snape were not holding hands in that classroom."

"Maybe she doesn't remember." Said Ron. "He could be putting her under the imperius curse and..."

"I'm not under any curse." Said Hermione. "Have you guys been talking with Neville? Because he doesn't know what he's on about."

"No, what? What's Neville got to do with you and Snape?"

"Nothing. Nothing he... Look this is ridiculous. I'm leaving now."

Harry stepped in front of the door. "To see him?" He asked quietly.

Hermione went a little red. "As it happens, yes. Yes I am off to spend possibly my entire Saturday with Snape."

"Oh my God." Cried Ginny. "Hermione, have you gone mad!?"

Harry watched Hermione. Living with the Dursely's had meant watching for nuances of behaviour, so he could predict an outburst of aggression before it came. He'd been her best friend for many years now, and he could recognize when she was being unusually brilliant. Having one of her best ideas to get them out of a jam for example. He could see it on her face now. She was thinking fast.

"Ginny it's that Order thing I was telling you about. Snape found out about it, he's letting me use his professional equipment to practice potions, to get better so I can take over as Potions Mistress for the order next year. That's all it is. I don't know what you all think has been going on here..."

"Let me explain." Said Harry. "All year you've been acting weird. You can't deny you've been going out of your way to uh, _interact_ with Snape. The whole pranks thing was fun to start out with, back when the rest of us were involved. But it's just been you and him for some time now."

"Ok." Said Hermione. "I can explain that. You know how smart I am Harry, I'm not going to mince my words. I can't hide it or pretend to be something I'm not; I could take my N.E.W.T's right now and pass with flying colours. This pranks thing keeps me occupied, it's how I blow off steam. Snape too. He's frustrated just being here. You know he's a spy for the Order; he wants to be out there doing things. You have to admit he's been a little bit more relaxed this year. It's because of the pranks."

Harry shook his head. "No Hermione it's more than that."

"How did he find out?" asked Ginny.

"Find out what Gin?"

"About the extra potions practice, about all your plans for the future. How did he find out? Pranking each other doesn't account for that. How do you know how frustrated and trapped he's been feeling teaching here? Pranking each other doesn't account for you knowing how he's feeling. I agree with harry, there's more to this and you're not telling us what it is. Plus, you still haven't explained why both Harry and Ron saw you holding hands and laughing with each other."

"Isn't it obvious?" Shouted Ron. "She's shagging him. Him, the slimy git Snape. A teacher. She's shagging him and that's why she's off to see him again now, when she should be hanging out with us. Like it used to be."

"I am not!" Hermione had gone bright red in the face now. Ginny would know for sure, but could he see a tiny flicker of guilt there? "We were not holding hands. We were sat on the desk, discussing that days pranks. The whoopee cushion and me itching remember? He was tapping his hand in the desk. It was annoying so I pressed down on his hand to make it stop. That's all."

"Isn't that _enough_?" Said Ginny loudly. "At the start of the year there is no way you would sit with him on a desk, like he's a friend or something. Touching him would have been out of the question however innocent, you wouldn't even touch his arm to get his attention, like a normal person wouldn't. And laughing together? Ok, Hermione forget for an instant he's a teacher. Forget that. We used to laugh along with Lupin, so it's not beyond the realms of possibility. But remember it's Snape. Severus Snape. He may fight for the Order but he still joined the death eaters out of his own free will. He's horrible, cruel, twisted... he's your stereotypical Slytherin. Hermione come on!"

"He's also a good man." Yelled Hermione. She immediately clapped a hand over her mouth, but it was enough.

"A good man?"

"Forget I said that..."

"No Hermione come on. In for a penny in for a pound."

"Fine." Harry watched as Hermione drew herself up, like she was about to begin one of her lectures about the importance of revision. "He is a good man Ginny. It's easy enough to make mistakes, everyone does. Especially when they're young, which he was when he joined the death eaters. It takes a higher calibre of wizard, of man, to admit they were wrong and turn things around. He puts his life in jeopardy every time he goes to a meeting you know that. We all _know_ that. We've been pranking each other all year; do you really think we weren't going to talk to each other about it at some point? Of course we were. Are. Have done. And in those talks we've touched on our reasons for why we're doing it. What's so suspicious about that? In addition, pranks, by their very definition are funny. So we were laughing about it. Everything you've read into our behaviour is just you all seeing things that aren't there. There's nothing going on between us. We are not 'shagging' as Ron so delicately puts it. The furthest you can accuse me and Snape of going is a tentative friendship, and I don't see what would be so wrong with even that."

"You really don't do you." Said Harry.

"No. I don't. We're both intelligent people blowing off some steam, harmlessly."

"Are you sure Hermione?" Said Ginny softly. "There's nothing else, nothing... inappropriate... between you two at all."

Harry noticed she paused before denying it. A pause could mean many things.

"I'm sure Gin. Now I appreciate what you guys are trying to do, but it's fine. I'm fine. Everything is as it should be. I'm going to go now, and I'll see you at dinner." Hermione spun on her heel and this time Harry didn't try and stop her as she went for the door. What else could they say? She walked out, and very obviously didn't slam it behind her, but gently pulled it to.

Harry turned back to the other two. "I think we need to have a word with Neville."

-x-

"Dumbledore, I want a word with you."

Dumbledore shifted in his seat. When Minerva wanted a word, with _that_ tone of voice, he knew it wouldn't be just one or two.

"Minerva, the pleasure would be mine. I was just about to have a cup of tea sent up, shall I make it a pot?"

Minerva nodded. "It may have to be a pot Albus. We have much to discuss."

He nodded, wrote the order on a slip of paper and sent it flying away to the kitchens. "Now what's the matter Minerva?"

"It's Severus. Albus, he and Miss Granger have spent the entire day cooped up in his private lab alone. Private lab Albus. Alone."

"Yes I'm aware of that."

"Well, get him up here right now. We need to tell him this is completely inappropriate, and it will cease immediately."

"It will not end Minerva. And I'll tell you why." Albus paused to gather his thoughts as he poured the tea. White three sugars for him, black with lemon for her.

"Severus informed me of this new arrangement, and I gave my approval. Ah..." He silences Minerva with a wave of his hand. "I agree it's not a usual situation. But I believe it has merit. It appears Severus and Miss Granger have both independently seen a problem with the organization of the Order next year. Miss Granger was apparently practicing her potions skills late at night in a bathroom so when our brave spy goes back to work more... industrially... next year he will not be over burdened with the Order's extensive potions needs as well. Severus discovering her on his rounds of the castle decided that rather than punishing her for being out after curfew, he would reward her initiative and supervise her progress. I agree with you my dear that it is a little inappropriate, many might argue that Miss Granger should have nothing to do with fighting the war at all. That is the basis of your unease it is not?"

"You know very well it is not. The basis of my unease Albus, is that she is a female student with a history of being attracted to older men."

"Oh Minerva, Lockhart was a mere schoolgirl crush."

"He was an early indicator, Viktor Krum was far older than she was."

"By a mere three years Minerva."

"Still Albus, at their age three years is a long time. Nineteen is much worse. Hermione may think that at just thirty-one he... I just think that Severus and Hermione should not be left alone together."

"Minerva, Severus is doing nothing untoward with Miss Granger. Do you doubt his integrity? He is a Hogwarts professor and I trust him with Miss Granger. Don't you?"

"Well of course Albus, I just think given this 'prank' business..."

"Think what Minerva? That one day whilst slaving over a hot cauldron in a dark and dingy dungeon, chopping and slicing the insides of dead lizards he and Miss Granger will have an urge to get... inappropriate? Not only do I think that highly unlikely anyway, that location makes it doubly so. No, Severus Snape may be a man, but he is above all else a trustworthy and deeply moral one at that. If the two of them become friendly, I for one would be glad that the poor boy has someone to talk to." Dumbledore peered over his half-moon glasses at his oldest friend. "And if such a friendship develops... then it will undoubtedly only be after graduation and I for one will be happy for them both. Am I clear my dear?"

Minerva narrowed her eyes. "I'm going to have to be satisfied, I can see that. I'll trust your judgement Albus, I trust Severus as well but Miss Granger is a highly articulate and engaging young woman so I hope it won't offend you if I keep an eye out."

Albus nodded his head. "Of course."

Minerva nodded. "Very well. Now about Lupin's last report..."

-x-x-x-x-

Authors note – the information I got for the various age differences between Hermione, Krum and Severus come from the harry potter wiki online. x


	13. Chapter 13

"In her _hair_?

"Sure. I haven't asked her about it again, but I've got my suspicions. I reckon she and Snape were gathering ingredients in the forbidden forest. McGonagall would throw a fit if she found out."

Ron jumped out of his seat and started pacing. "No Neville it's worse than that. Creeping around with her at night... keeping secrets from us.... private potions lessons and I swear they were holding hands. They're having an affair Harry I know they are."

Harry shook his head. "No, Ron I think something is going on but I really don't think Dumbledore would have let it get that far. He knows everything that goes on in this castle if it's important. The portraits would have dobbed them in by now."

"But Harry we saw..."

"No." Said Ginny firmly. "Ron you and Harry thought you saw them holding hands. That's all. Hermione was straight with us. At the end of the day she's our friend Ron. If she says there's nothing going on, then there's nothing going on. I trust her. Everything we've heard about or seen also has an innocent explanation."

"Gin she..."

"No Ron, enough's enough. This isn't like all those mysteries the three of you have solved over the years. There's no big conspiracy. Besides, if you can't trust Hermione who can you trust?"

"Alright!" Ron threw up his hands in resignation. "I'm not going to argue with you anymore. But if Hermione comes crying to you that Snape's gone too far I'm going to say I told you so."

-x-

It started as a small irritation at the back of his neck. He'd worn muggle clothes before on the odd occasion, and was aware of how uncomfortable a clothes label could be. But his shirt did not have a label, not did his waistcoat or robe. He shrugged it off as a wrinkle, and made a note to complain to the house elves and have whoever did the ironing changed.

By breakfast it had grown. He'd ducked out of the classroom during morning break to change his clothes and found a patch of knitted wool in striped yellow and red. It was about 5 inches wide and 6 inches long. He tore it off his shirt but he had an inkling that this wouldn't be the end of it. He was right. Over the next few hours the back of his neck itched as another patch of wool began to grow. He had no opportunity to go and change his clothes again as he was on corridor duty but he did try to rip it off. This time it didn't come off. And it was growing faster and faster. By lunch, it had grown around the side of his neck and was visible to everyone, but he couldn't get it off. Not with force and not with magic.

By the end of last lesson at 3pm it was about 3 ft long and had wrapped itself around his neck in a loop, and was starting to descend to the ground. It had also developed tassles.

Wearing a Gryffindor scarf around his neck was not a good thing.

But he tried to pull it off, he looked everyone who smirked dead in the eye and loved it as they hurriedly looked away or actually turned and went in a different direction. But too many were smirking and too many were giggling as they rushed away from his death glare. It was irksome.

By the evening meal the scarf had wrapped itself around his head several times, and was making it difficult to speak clearly. His nose poked out over the top of the scarf that was now covering his mouth. As well as the numerous loops around his neck, it had twined itself around his shoulders and waist, placing him in danger of looking like a Gryffindor style Egyptian mummy. He strode into the Great Hall like he hadn't a care in the world, but it actuality he was practically waddling under the weight of the infernal thing. He waddled over to the Gryffindor table and tapped Hermione on the shoulder. Without even looking up at him, she raised her wand and jabbed it in his direction, muttering an incantation under his breath.

With startling speed... the scarf turned green and silver. He'd expected it to disappear completely. There was no point touching Hermione again, if she'd wanted to end the prank here she could have. Severus, unable to eat through the scarf waddled from the hall defeated. For now.

-x-

She could have sworn....

Hermione blinked but it didn't reappear. For a moment there, behind the pillar... No. Impossible.

No, that time she was sure. She nudged Harry. "Did you see a flash if yellow over there?"

"Where?"

"Behind that pillar, over by the window. It looked like..."

Harry peered over in the direction she was pointing. "Looked like what?"

"Pikachu."

Harry gave a start. "What?!"

"I swear Harry it looked just like Pikachu."

Harry took his glasses off and rubbed his eyes tiredly. "Hermione, Pokemon aren't real. They're not like dragons or mermaids and they exist even though we always thought they didn't."

"I know I know. Forget it."

That day, Hermione spotted Bulbasaur disappearing down a drain in a courtyard. A Charmander poked his head above the sill of one of the windows in Hagrids hut. She saw a Squirtle and a Goldeen frolicking in the lake and throughout the day she saw a confused Psyduck darting in and around people's legs in the corridors. Always she was too late to immobilise one, or even properly see it. What was worse it wasn't long before she was humming the theme tune under her breath.

_Gotta catch 'em all....ARGH._

_-x-_

They were moving. And he wasn't moving them. He was stood still for goodness sake, he'd perfected the art of flourishing them whenever he wanted but they'd never done this. He quickly finished off berating the student he'd caught and sent them on their way. His robes settled down around him and fell still.

That day, every time he spoke a harsh word to a student his robes began to stir around him. After a while they would rise up in the air and billowed out around him like he was... He frowned. A giant bat.

_-x-_

Hermione straightened up, rolling her shoulders to work out the kinks. She'd been bent over a desk working on her grinding technique for hours, turning shards of broken glass into fine powder. She'd worn one of Snape's mortars down to a stub. Both her wrists were killing her, as she was practicing using both. Just in case one was ever incapacitated but she still needed to work.

"Giving up for tonight already Hermione?"

Hermione glanced at her watch. "It's gone ten. I'm tired, so I don't see why not." She began to pack up her things and tidy the mess she'd made.

"You're lack of discipline surprises me."

"Lack of discipline? I could have given up hours ago when I got the hang of this."

"A good potions master would do this task for days at a time during her training. I certainly did." Severus got up and helped her put the last few things away, the two of them moving around his lab like they'd worked together in there for years.

"Ah so I have to suffer before I can say I've mastered it."

"If you go into a potions apprenticeship, yes. All apprentices are expected to show their worth. It is a selective group, and we don't allow anyone who is not worthy to gain the title."

"An exclusive club."

"More so than any other discipline."

"I'll get in."

Severus raised an eyebrow. "I hadn't realised potions interested you so much. I thought this was for the war effort."

"And what, that I'd drop it as soon as the war was over?"

"I take it I was mistaken?"

Hermione shrugged, pausing before she left the room for the night. "I don't actually know. I just don't like having assumptions made about myself. I keep being told I'm the brightest witch of my age, and I could do anything I wanted but no one's sat down and told me what all the options are. Career advice in fifth year was a joke. McGonagall asked me what I wanted to do, when I said I didn't know she said she'd support me in whatever I chose and that was it. As far as I can see, there's the ministry or becoming an auror. Most other magical jobs I've seen seem to be jobs for life. Teaching, shop keeping, banking. Nothing very challenging. I'd love to go into research, or..."

She trailed off, stepping out into the corridor. "I want to make a difference in so many different fields Severus. Deal with the legal rights of magical creatures, revolutionise teaching, research new spells and potions, change attitudes to muggles."

Severus smiled, moving over to the door to shut it behind her. "We have a longer life than muggles Hermione. If anyone can fit all of that in, it's you."

Hermione smiled back. "Thank you, but I couldn't do it all alone. I'm good, but I'd need help."

Severus looked at her. Hermione wasn't sure, but in the guttering firelight of the torches in the corridor he seemed to have grown suddenly distant. As if his mind was far away, but whether in the past or the future she couldn't tell. "I doubt you'll have trouble finding people to help you Hermione. Ever."

-x-

Breakfast in the Great Hall. Hermione was making an effort to chat with her friends she really was. Some of what they'd said was true, she had been neglecting them recently and although they had been wrong about her and Severus they hadn't been that wide of the mark. And their objections were completely understandable.

_He is too old for me I suppose... and anything between us would be completely inappropriate. And we have been spending a lot of time together, and the sneaking about must have looked suspicious. They were looking out for me and I would have done the same if it had been Ginny. I just wish I could have told them honestly that there was nothing going on. But sometimes he looks at me and I wonder... And the other night in Myrtles bathroom... When we were just standing there I could almost believe... Oh I don't know._

"Earth to Hermione."

She looked up with a jerk. "What?"

"You were studying your toast again Hermione. What time did you get in last night?"

"I only stayed until about ten." Ginny gave her a look. "I know I know, I promised nine. But it's a good thing I've started working this hard now. It's physically exhausting yes, but if I wasn't doing this then next year I'd go into potions making full time with no warm up. I'm better off being a bit tired now than so unprepared next year I'd get sick."

"I suppose. I just worry. I'm turning into my mother that way I guess, a proper mother hen." Ginny twisted her face in distaste and Hermione had to laugh.

"You're not nearly as bad as your mum Gin, don't worry!"

Just then the post arrived, breaking off their conversation. Ginny received a thick letter from her mum, and Hermione received her daily prophet. She was opening it when another owl dropped a letter by her plate. Then another. And another. The whole Hall watched transfixed as what seemed like hundreds of owls flocked into the room and dumped their cargo over Hermione.

"What are they?" Shouted Ginny as she got caught in the rain of paper as well. They were piling up all around the two girls while everyone else scuttled out of the way.

Hermione grabbed one and opened it, trying to shield her face form the flurry as she did so. "It's, a leaflet." She tried to focus. "A leaflet about working in a wizarding nursery."

"This one's about being an international wizarding diplomat." Said Ginny.

"Quidditch referee." Shouted Seamus from one side.

"Healer." Cried lavender from the other.

All of the Gryffindors were digging in now, as the delivery was over. "Groundskeeper!" "Mermish translator!" "Accountant!" "Muggle science observer." "Witch weekly journalist." "Magical creature zooarchaeologist." "Rare potion ingredient sourcer." "Babysitter."

"There must be a leaflet for every conceivable job here Hermione."

But Hermione couldn't hear her, she was buried beneath the pile of paper, with only a few wisps of her hair sticking out of the top. Ginny twisted in her seat to look up at the teachers table, and sure enough she spotted Snape looking over with a smir... no. It wasn't a smirk she realised with surprise. It was a smile. And it wasn't even a self-satisfied smug one. She looked back at Hermione who was digging her way out. She watched as Hermione also looked up at the teachers table, and grinned in Snape's direction before giving him a sloppy, mischievous salute.

"Give me a hand with these Gin?"

Ginny shook herself out of her reverie. "Sure thing Hermione."

-x-

Hermione was stretched out in front of the Gryffindor fire. It wasn't one of the nights she studied with Snape, and she hadn't managed to get a library pass so she was trying to study in the common room. Lavander and Parvati were burning incense and trying to see the future in their room so she couldn't be there either.

The fire crackled a little but she ignored it. Fires crackled.

The fire popped but she ignored that too. Fires popped.

It popped again. And again. And again. Then Hermione felt something hot on her bare elbow, she jumped thinking it was a stray ember. Slowly Hermione roused herself from her academic reverie and glanced over at the fire. It was not a stray ember. Emerging from the fire were a dozen newborn salamanders, and she was the first living thing they'd spotted. She shrieked as they crowded around her, singeing her robes as they tried to cuddle up to their mummy.

She ruined three sets of robes over the next few days looking after her 'babies' before Hagrid said they were ready to be separated from her.

-x-

Severus groaned. For the third day in a row a flock of owls entered the great hall at breakfast and made straight for him. He was once again deluged with letters as they dropped their cargo.

"How many this-morning Severus?" Asked Dumbledore curiously.

"At least fifty."

"Mmm, and more perfumed ones today. I believe they are getting more persistent."

"Isn't that one a howler?" Asked Pomona innocently.

Severus hurriedly sifted through the pile. "Merlins Balls..." he grabbed the offending envelope and ran for the door in as dignified a manner as possible, but broke into a run when the envelope opened itself and began to sing.

" _Oh lonely heaaaaaaaaart... You're matching heart is calling..._

_In love with yoooooooou ...I think I may be falling..._

_I saw your aaaaaaaaaaad, in the Daily Prophets love lorn classifieds...._

_I'm willing to return to Hogwaaaaaaaarts and in your bed reside!"_

The only bright side he could see, the only one he could stretch his imagination to see; was that if he ever was desperate enough to place an ad in the lonely hearts column, he'd be spoilt for choice.

-x-


	14. Chapter 14

CHAPTER 14

Exams were over and the results were in. Hermione had done well of course, Outstandings in all her subjects, with additional notes on the certificates explaining she got above full marks in many subjects due to the sheer impressiveness of her answers and demonstrations. She'd been deluged in job offers but had turned them all down for now; she explained she wanted a gap year or two before she started work. In reality, her gap year would be taken up not with travelling but with warfare. She planned to leave for Order HQ immediately after the graduation ceremony and start work right away. The death eaters would waste no time once Harry had left school, so neither would she.

-x-

She watched as the school emptied, the number of students saying goodbye dwindling until it was just her, Neville, Ron and Harry. Ginny had left earlier with Luna to stay in a safe house over the summer. She had wanted to stick with them but Molly had been very clear that anyone who hadn't left school was not to join the fight yet, even if they were members of Dumbledore's army. Hermione had commiserated with her friend, but had secretly agreed. Ginny had been through so much already and was as ready to fight as she was, but Luna was not. Ginny could protect her and the other young people in the safe house if the worst happened and it was found by the wrong people. It had been a bitter pill to swallow, but Ginny had eventually seen the truth of Hermione's reasoning and accepted her role.

The four of them were sat in silence, enjoying the last few moments of being together at school, as students. Over the exam period Hermione had made a real effort with them, and any rifts she'd caused seemed to have healed. Even Ron was scowling a little less whenever she mentioned Snape or potions. They were sat on top of the large stones that marked the top of the hill above Hagrid's hut. This was where she had punched Draco, and glancing about her every building, every patch of grass had a memory attached to it. That was where they'd had a snowball fight, that was the patch of trees where they'd hid from themselves in the time turner incident.

She knew she was wallowing in nostalgia, but how could she not? The memories were bittersweet, so much danger and confusion and so much happiness. Hogwarts had been the first place she'd felt accepted outside of the family home. More so maybe, her brilliance had always slightly bewildered her average parents. Nevertheless, despite a part of her wanting to stay here forever, she was ready to move on. Anyone who had ever grown up and left a school they loved would recognize what she felt right now. The tears that come with realizing you're older now and nothing can be the same again, of leaving friends behind you. And the excitement of all the challenges still to come, all the people yet to meet. She'd cried, of course she'd cried. But tomorrow was another day.

"Guys?" She turned as Neville broke the easy silence. He was pointing out a figure striding toward them. It was Lupin.

They clambered down off of the stones as Lupin came towards them. "Ready to go?" He asked.

The boys all nodded, but Hermione suddenly realized she had something more to do. "Lupin, I'll catch you all up later. I've just remembered I promised to say goodbye to Winky before I left."

Lupin looked a bit confused but nodded. "Alright. When you're ready make your way to the front gates, you'll be able to apparate once you're beyond them. Don't go straight to HQ, just in case someone tracks the spell."

Hermione smiled at the others, and darted off on her own. She couldn't believe she's nearly forgotten...

-x-

Severus waited in the small room, just about managing not to pace. He'd come here straight away once he'd seen the main student body safely onto the train, and checked it himself for sabotage devices. He hadn't heard anything from Voldemort about an attack on the train, but one rogue death eater would be all it took. Well, he'd changed out of his teaching robes first. He wasn't coming back next year, wasn't a teacher, so didn't see why he should wear the heavy black robes for a second more than he needed to. They had served their purpose. He'd been here for some time waiting for her, but hadn't looked at it yet. He wanted to wait so they could find out together.

He heard someone running down the corridor towards him and he straightened up. Sure enough, Hermione came tumbling around the corner in a mass of tangled robes and curls. "Who was it?"

"I haven't looked yet." They moved towards the smallest glass cabinet at the back of the room. Snape opened the door of it and took out the shield they were both interested in. He gave it a quick brush with the sleeve of his shirt and glanced at his watch. "It's not quite five yet, it'll update itself at exactly five pm on the last day of term."

"How long do we have?"

"About a minute, I got here early."

He placed the shield on the cabinet in a prominent position, so they could both see it the moment it changed, and slouched back against the opposite wall. Hermione joined him and they waited for the moment to arrive. Peeves floated in as they waited, but didn't say anything. He was wearing a hat and appeared to be unusually solemn.

"What's wrong Peeves?" Asked Hermione.

The little ghost shrugged, and gave her a big grin. "I come down here every year to see if anything changes. I don't intend to have my name ever come off my shield and this year you might have done it. If that's the case, I wanted to be here to get you back."

Hermione peered at the shields. "You'd be Jason Peeves, most pranks pulled against a member of staff? Peeves I don't think I've beaten that. I may have been pranking Severus all year but you tortured Filch for all seven of yours!"

"I count myself fortunate that you didn't get the idea of winning one of these shields in your head earlier." Said Severus.

"Ssshh." Said Hermione sharply. "They're glowing."

And it was true; all the shields in the special tiny cabinet were glowing with a dull yellow light as the magic that dealt them out reviewed the year. But the writing only changed on one.

"What?" Said Hermione.

"That can't be right." Said Severus at the same time. They both reached out to pick the shield up but Peeves got to it first, and floated up towards the ceiling out of reach.

"The award for most creative pranks pulled goes to..." And he laughed merrily. "Mr Severus Snape and Miss Hermione Granger, tied in first place!"

"I don't understand it." Said Severus. "The pranks I pulled this year as well as those I performed as a student should have guaranteed me first place."

"None of the ones you did this year counted." Said Peeves from above them. "You're a teacher snivilleus, you don't qualify for the contest anymore."

"So what does this mean?" Said Hermione. "Who won?"

Peeves dropped the shield and flew off, though Hermione managed to catch it awkwardly. "Read the small print Miss Stranger." He called back over his shoulder before disappearing into a wall.

_In the case of the academic year 1997-98 the total number of creative pranks, as deemed creative by the creator of this shield, by Miss Hermione Granger matches the total number of creative pranks performed by the incumbent winner Mr Severus Snape. Therefore the outcome is a tie, and both names are recorded for posterity on the front of the shield, and Mr Severus Snape's name does not move to the back with the names of the previous winners._

Hermione turned it over, and saw on the reverse side a list of names with years next to them. _Trimalchio Bernice 1612-13.... Rosanna Mattingsley 1795-96.... Warren Hargreaves 1796-97... Violet Malfoy 1804-05... Gareth Balding 1947-48..._ She tossed it over to Snape, who read it too.

"A stalemate then Hermione."

"I guess so. Though if it judged us just on this year's performances I would definitely have won."

"Doubtful."

"Hardly."

Severus placed the shield back on the shelf carefully. "Perhaps it's best that we drew, neither of us have any reason to continue this. In the outside world it could cause chaos."

"Agreed. I could hardly send you to a death eater meeting in hot pink robes."

He snorted in amusement. "Quite so." He straightened up. "Speaking of which, it's time to go."

"The war beckons." She sighed.

"I thought you were looking forward to this?"

"I was. I mean I am. I've been itching to get helping the war effort for months you know I have."

"But it's a big change. I understand. Still, I've set up quite the lab for you in the basement of Grimmauld Place and when you get there I'm sure Dumbledore will have a list of potions as long as his arm for you to get started on. You won't have time to miss all of this." He waved his arm to indicate the castle, but Hermione knew he meant the two of them as well. And she would miss having to verbally spar with. It occurred to her that she would probably be quite lonely brewing in a basement, on her own for much of the time.

"You're right."

"Of course."

The two of them walked down to the gates together, greeting any portraits or ghosts that spoke to them on the way. The sun was starting to set by the time they made their way down the long drive, twilight descending early in the north of Scotland even in the summer. He opened the gate for her when they reached it, ever the gentleman.

"Will you..." Hermione shook her head. "I'm sorry, I mean, you're going to be so busy..."

"Will I stay in touch?" Interrupted Severus softly.

"Yes. I mean you don't have to. I know you'll be busy and in danger all the time and..."

"Yes."

Hermione looked up at him. "Only when it's safe for you to. I mean, a letter would be fine."

"I'll visit." He said firmly. "I'll have to report in to the Order in person sometimes, to prove I'm still... me."

She nodded. "I'm glad. I'll miss you." She blushed, realizing she'd said a little too much. "I mean, who else will I discuss Potions monthly with? Or make acerbic comments about dunderheads with..."

He smiled in the dim light, and pressed his finger against her lips to silence her. "I'll miss you too. Goodbye Hermione." He disappeared with a pop, leaving her stunned in the gathering gloom.

"Goodbye... Severus."

-x-


	15. Chapter 15

CHAPTER 15

Severus pulled on his mask, watching himself in the mirror. His eyes peered out; the rest of this features completely hidden. The dark mark itched on his arm, calling him to a meeting with Voldemort.

_No, it's 'my Dark Lord'. You must start thinking like one of them again Severus._

He sighed and straightened his robes. It would be a long hard slog now. He had to live the death eater lifestyle full time from now on, avoiding bloodshed wherever he could without blowing his cover but participating in horrors when he had no choice. He suffered under the weight of the lives he'd already ruined in the service of a monster, but he served the greater good. His own conscience was a small price to pay. He was the only one who could do what he did. Be instrumental in creating the minutiae of the Order's plans but keep it hidden from Voldemort _Dark Lord_ as he gleaned information to pass on to Dumbledore.

He wondered why he did it sometimes. It had started off as penance for Lily's murder. But that particular wound had eased long ago in his heart. Then it had become a duty for the future betterment of wizardkind. He was the only one with the skills to survive the mental onslaughts the Dark Lord put him through. That had been enough. But now... if he was honest with himself that was no longer the only reason.

_Hermione..._

She was one more thing he had to keep from the Dark Lord. Voldemort could not learn what she meant to him., not if he wanted her alive when the war ended. Not if he wanted... No. That was not something he'd allow himself to think about yet. It was too much to hope for. But if he could earn some kind of redemption for all the atrocities he'd participated in, albeit for the sake of good, then he could entertain the notion that maybe they...

He angrily denied that thought room in his mind. Not yet. He turned from the mirror and pressed his wand to his tattoo. In that instant he felt a familiar tug and disapparated to wherever it was the Dark Lord was lurking.

-x-

Hermione wiped the sweat out of her eyes. It was boiling down here, but she couldn't pause to set up the air conditioning spell again, she was at a critical point in the potions creation and couldn't stop stirring even for the couple of seconds it would take to wave her wand. If Severus had been there...

She sighed. But Severus wasn't there. He'd been true to his word, the lab he'd set up in the basement of 12 Grimmauld place rivalled the facilities of Hogwarts. She had everything she needed, except for help. Dumbledore had her brewing at all hours, but she didn't mind. Field operatives needed healing, and they couldn't go to St Mungo's. She provided the healing potions they needed, and felt valued. She was saving lives. She also brewed offensive potions decanted carefully into fragile vials for them to throw at their enemies in combat situations. She knew they were necessary, and had meant victory at several battles. But every time she handed over a fresh batch she feared that one of her potions might be used against him. And it would be her fault.

It had been several months, but he hadn't visited yet. She didn't sleep much, but it seemed he only ever visited during the few hours a night she was tucked up in bed. Dead to the world. It couldn't be coincidence, but she couldn't fathom why he would be intentionally avoiding her. It wasn't as if she got a lot of other visitors. Most days she only saw Dumbledore for the few minutes it took for him to collect finished potions and hand her a new list. Her friends had joined her for a few hours at a time in the beginning, but they had gotten in the way and she had accidentally snapped at them too many times, as irritable as Severus could be on one of his worse days.

She shouldn't have taken it out on them; they were stressed out as well searching for horcruxes. But the constant deadlines she was under meant inane chatter with Ron, Harry and Neville was just a distraction. Their visits had dwindled, and now they only talked to her when she was outside of the lab. Molly made her eat a full meal at a table in the evening, so she usually saw them then. Ginny she'd only seen once and she missed her dearly.

_Finally..._

She put down the elm-wood stirring rod and cast the cooling spell. Her lab immediately fell back to a decent temperature. She hopped onto a stool and glanced down the list Dumbledore had given her that afternoon and sighed. It was going to be another long night.

-x-

Severus sighed as he sank into the leather armchair in front of Dumbledore's desk. It had been a long night, a long week. He was exhausted. But it was only after he'd made his report, standing up staring out of the window at the silent London street so he wouldn't have to look Dumbledore in the face that he allowed himself to relax. If only for a little while.

"How long are you with us Severus?"

"A day or two. My first real break in months. Like I said, he's pushing everyone hard Albus. I've only got these few days because I 'discovered' where Potter will be on Thursday night."

"Mm, we've got Julian Clark to play him this time, Miss Granger provided the polyjuice a few nights ago. A sensible man, he'll run away after firing a few shots."

"Let's just hope the real Potter uses the time Clark gives him that night constructively."

"He will. He and his peers have really grown up these past few months, I think even you would be impressed with their progress. Mr Longbottom in particular, I think he's finally done his grandmother proud, and she's a hard woman to impress."

"As you say headmaster." Severus leaned back in the chair and closed his eyes. "Can we leave any strategy meetings until tomorrow? I want to discuss Greyback with Lupin, and he's not back until ten tomorrow if I remember correctly."

"Of course dear boy. You rest tonight, you've earned it. Although..."

Snape's eyes flew open. He had known Dumbledore long enough to know the tone of voice he said 'although' in could mean nothing good.

"Although I think Miss Granger would appreciate a visit before you disappear again."

"She'll be in bed at this hour Albus, it's gone three in the morning."

"Not so. She's up late this morning brewing some more skelegrow for Tonks."

Severus stood up out of the chair and looked out of the window again. "I don't think it would be a good idea Albus. Distractions when brewing..."

"I don't think she'd see your visit as a mere distraction. I could make it an order Severus, for the sake of her moral. She is an invaluable member of the Order you know. I don't know what we would have done without her; she is second only to you in skill."

Severus allowed himself a small smile. "She is gifted." Then he frowned again. "But I don't think it would..."

"She won't judge you." Said Dumbledore quietly.

Severus closed his eyes and leaned against the cold stone of the window ledge. "How could she not?"

"Severus, if there is one person other than I who could see past the uniform you currently wear and the acts you perform wearing that uniform to the man you truly are, it is she. Don't insult her by thinking she doesn't understand what you have to do. She can handle it."

"She shouldn't have to handle it." Said Severus softly.

"I don't think either of you have a choice." Replied Dumbledore. "If I'm right, and I'm sorry my boy but I usually am, then there is no point denying what you already know to be true. That you..."

"Ah." Said Severus, holding up a hand. "Don't say it Albus. Just... don't."

-x-

Hermione was working in near darkness, as the Antarctic frogs eggs were only visible in the dark, when the dim glow they gave off could be seen. There was a knock at her door. _Now, really?_

"Not now." She yelled over her shoulder. "I'm busy."

To her annoyance, she heard the door open and footsteps enter the room and come towards her. "I may not be able to turn around right now," she continued "but believe me, I am frowning. Go away."

"I might not be able to come back later." Said Severus.

"Severus?!" Hermione burst into a massive grin, and only just stopped herself from dumping the rest of the diluted powdered dragon tooth into the cauldron at once and turning round. "I... oh hang on two seconds!" She finished drizzling the solution into the potion, and gave it two stirs counter-clockwise. She then took out her wand and cast a stasis charm on it. Then she span around and threw herself at him, trapping him in a hug he had not expected but had hoped for.

"Where have you been?" She asked, drawing back and looking up into his face. "No, don't answer that. But are you okay?"

"I'm alright." He replied.

She gave him a massive thump with her fist on his arm. "Why haven't you come by before now? I know you've seen Dumbledore several times."

"I wasn't sure of the welcome I'd get." He replied carefully, rubbing his arm. "Some of the injuries you'll have had to brew potions specifically to cure... I knew you'd figure out I was one who inflicted them."

"Well yes, I mean of course I did. They were ingenious. But I also knew they were painful, and disfiguring, but only temporarily so. They weren't fatal; they just looked like a big deal. Perfect if you're a spy who needs to keep his cover and look impressive but who doesn't want to hurt anyone on his true side."

"Dumbledore was right." He said incredulously.

"About what?"

"That you'd work it out. That you'd understand."

She flashed him a brilliant smile. "Of course I would. Because it's exactly what I would do if I was in your place."

He tucked an errant curl behind her ear. "I should have realised that. You are the smartest witch of your age." He teased.

She grew serious then. "I'm smart enough to know how hard this must be for you as well Severus."

"Hermione..."

"No I'm not going to try and talk you out of going back. You have to do your job. Same as me. I just wanted to say... I'm proud of you. And I'm grateful to you. I'm not sure anyone else would think to thank you for what you're doing. And remind you that, well, it won't last forever. Neville took out Nagini a few nights ago. And we're close to getting Hufflepuff's cup. This isn't forever."

He drew her into a quick hug. "Thank you." He whispered, and then beat a hasty retreat out of the room, leaving Hermione smiling in the dark.

-x-

After that, Severus visited Hermione every time he made it back to Grimmauld place. Every time he got concerned about how pale and tired she looked, spending long exhausting days toiling away without any sunlight. She got concerned about how drawn and pained he looked when she saw him. He would drag her outside into the garden to force her to get some fresh air, and she would insist he eat a full-sized Molly meal. And after each visit he would walk a little straighter, and she would be in a better mood when disturbed.

If anyone noticed the correlation, they held their peace. Dumbledore certainly managed to confine himself to minor eye twinkling whenever he saw them.

And the war wore on.

-x-


	16. Chapter 16

It was a long war.

How could it not be? Wizards didn't line up on either side of a battlefield and slug it out. It was secretive, and cruel. Merciless. By the end, there wasn't a wizard or witch alive who hadn't lost in some way. The loss of loved ones was difficult, but the loss of one's innocence, or self-respect... that was harder. To do things you knew to be evil to kill those who _were _evil. Just as in a muggle war, nobody really won. Not really. Nothing is ever that cut and dry.

Hermione had been so tired. Physically, emotionally, she knew she was a wreck. The ministry had provided psychologists for anyone who asked but she wasn't interested. And there weren't enough psychologists anyway. The magical world being what it was, they'd only cottoned onto the idea recently. And there were a lot of people who needed help, not just those who had been attacked but all of those who had risen up to fight.

The Order of the Phoenix had expanded, taking in anyone who wanted to fight, to help. The ministry had been fine with that, not wanting to sully their hands by raising their own army. By the end of it, the original members had become organisers, administrators, teachers. The chance to lead in a foray became slimmer and slimmer as more people became soldiers. More expendable soldiers. Soldiers who were fiercely protective of their mentors and often refused to have them along on missions.

Hermione on the other hand had very few helpers. Those who wanted revenge, or to fight for freedom – they wanted immediacy. They wanted to train and kill death eaters as soon as they could. Very few of them wanted to spend day after day, night after night in the cool, dimly lit environment that potions brewing necessitated. And not all of those who were prepared to do that, who wanted to help but got squeamish at actual killing, were any good. She could have cried every time a new recruit who swore they had an outstanding in their potions N.E.W.T ruined a whole batch. Ingredients were harder and harder to come by as the war wore on, every spiders leg was precious.

By the time the Order had finally 'won' she had five people other than herself who were up to the task. The potions they brewed saved lives, and took them. There could be no mistakes, no duff batches. They had become a little family of sorts. How could they not? They all suffered the anxiety of watching friends leave to fight a battle with potion bombs they had brewed. They all had the survivors guilt. Asha, Bernard, Kimberly, Pat and Duncan. Their names were engraved on her heart. She would never forget that one Christmas when they had decorated the lab. Of course that Christmas Luna had died so they never did it again but she could still taste the mince pies if she allowed herself to remember. Mince pies and tears.

She was still friends with the others of course, but the war had changed them all. Ron spent all of his time over a map of Britain, strategising. She wasn't sure why she'd been surprised at first. He was brilliant at chess. But sending people on missions and having them die had lost him his cheeky smile and hot temper. He was, not cold exactly, but he was so wary of being blamed for a death he had withdrawn a bit. Better to keep a clear head he said, better not to make too many friends or show weakness. He had been a pain in the butt in school, especially that last year, but she missed the kid who would jump to outrageous conclusions. Ginny was in charge of the airborne division with her brother Charlie. She was the brooms, he was the magical creatures. Hermione wasn't completely sure, but Ginny only ever seemed her old self when she was in the air. The rest of the time she was a mini-Molly, fussing over her brothers and trying to keep tabs on everyone, keep them fed. Especially Harry. Harry. Wracked with guilt he couldn't find the seventh horcrux. Twelve years was a long time to be at war and he blamed himself every day for not putting a stop to it. When Dumbledore finally figured out Harry was the horcrux (she chided herself, it wasn't Dumbledore's fault, he had been bedridden after a coma that had lasted three years) he had nearly committed suicide on the spot until someone pointed out he had to kill Voldemort at the same time.

But everything had worked out somehow. Why the love shield thing Harry had couldn't have protected all of them when the first order member died to save the whole world she hadn't quite worked out. But being so busy with her potions, she hadn't had time to research it properly. And even if it had happened, the Death Eaters would have just switched to muggle weapons. Voldemort may hate muggles, but he had grown up one and wasn't stupid.

Celebrations at their victory had been muted. The golden trio had died a long time ago, and she hadn't felt comfortable at the dances and dinners. But then, even in peacetime childhood friendships broke down as people grew and changed. She had more contact with Neville than she did with her other fellow Gryffindors, Neville who had suffered so much was the least touched of all of them. He killed death eaters with a single minded ruthlessness, but in her room at Grimmauld Place could still laugh. He and Asha had a thing, and she couldn't be happier for them. Another close friend was Draco oddly enough. He had turned very early on. Not many people had trusted him at first but Hermione had seen the great strength of character it must take to turn your back on everything you've ever been taught to believe, and your entire family. It would be like her turning her back on everyone and joining the death eaters. People stopped hassling him when he killed his parents though. You couldn't fake that.

They'd bonded over Severus. Turned out, Severus was his godfather. Draco had nearly killed him when he'd strolled into her lab one evening while they were chatting. He had wept with relief when she explained Severus was on their side. Wept. One person he had grown up as family with was on his side. One. She'd cried too.

She never brought her parents back from Australia. They were safer where they were for now, blissfully unaware. To have them remember her would hurt them too much, too much had changed. So she watched them grow old and die from afar, missing them but satisfied they were happy. There were still a few death eaters around out for revenge, and she was an original order member, Harry Potters school chum and potions mistress extraordinaire. And the traitor Snape's wife.

She and Severus had gotten together during the war, unofficially. One too many nights patching him up, listening to him talk... He would only talk to her. She carried his wounds as well as her own. One night, he had looked at her with wide eyes, she'd nearly laughed at his expression.

"_What is it?"_

"_I've realised I can't remember the last time I thought of you as my student. That ridiculous prank competition, do you remember? That night we got stuck behind that statue, the night in myrtle's bathroom..."_

She had lain her hand on his arm, and smiled. _"I remember."_

It had been sporadic, but so simple. So right. He was the only one whose arms she could even imagine falling into. And every time was wonderful and awful at the same time. Because any night together might have been their last night. By some miracle, he survived the war. Seven years in he had been revealed as a spy, and gone fully underground. He wasn't a death eater anymore, but he still felt the call in his tattoo whenever Voldemort gathered his minions for something big, and he still risked his life gathering information. They had their own tattoos made, he knew how, and whenever she felt hers pull at her she would abandon her potion to whoever was on emergency relief in the lab and apparate to him. They had lived their love for one another under the stars, in the remotest places they could find. But always in Britain. After the apparition blocking spell had been cast around the island the safety of other lands was taken from them. He had proposed on the starriest night she could ever remember, a meteor had showered the highlands with shooting stars...

But they lived, and loved. And now the war was over they lived and loved in peace, in a small cottage in Scotland. Not near Hogwarts, neither had gone back to Hogwarts except to repair any damage. There had been precious little. Like so many muggles, Voldemort loved Hogwarts. As an orphan, she suspected that like Harry he thought of it as home. Teaching children may have gone underground as muggle-born and order supporters feared for their lives, but Hogwarts had remained virtually untouched. No, there home was out in the wilderness where no one would know to look except for those they chose to invite. And they did invite friends, they weren't interested in being hermits. They just didn't fancy endless publicity. They started a potions company together, her five potions comrades from the war travelled to work by floo, and they all enjoyed the process of brewing potions that weren't designed to kill. They were researchers as well, Hermione and Severus would find a hole in knowledge, put their genius to good use and create a new potion in a matter of months. They were heroes, technically, for what they had done during the war. But both were happier creating than destroying.

When their children went to Hogwarts, the school was back to how it must have been before Hermione had gone there. She forgot sometimes that normal kids would go a whole lifetime without solving one evil plot. Their son and daughter didn't get too much extra attention. Which was a relief, neither her nor Severus wanted their son and daughter to suffer on their account. Harry had been one boy. The newest generation had dozens of children of famous war veterans to share the notoriety with. In time, their son became the founder of the Wizarding Science Institute, and their daughter headmistress of Hogwarts.

It hadn't all been easy, they both suffered from flashbacks and nightmares. They could scream at each other for hours, freeze the other out for weeks while they dealt with some issue alone – they were both like that – but they always came together again. And they always, always, throughout their long marriage, found the time for the odd prank.


End file.
